contrabass tuba

A tuba designed for marching that resembles a concert tuba in shape but is carried on the left shoulder. They usually weigh between 35 and 55 pounds.

The visual advantage for such a tuba on the field is that it can be held in carry (held vertically in front of the person) and in various other positions.

They are called Contras for short.

See the pic above.

Contras are the most badass instruments ever.

by corpsfreak April 26, 2005

Wagner Tuba

A fucked-up musical instrument most frequently heard in the works of Richard Wagner and Anton Bruckner. Though capable of sounding quite beautiful, it usually sounds like shit and elicits dirty looks and sighs from the rest of the orchestra.

Musician #1: "What are we playing on tour in March?"

Musician #2: "Bruckner 8"

Musician #1: "Oh Fuck! Wagner Tubas!!!"

by hrnhtr February 10, 2009

tuba

only thee coolest instrument known to man. jocks admire tuba players. cheerleaders want to do tuba players. It originated back in the late 1790s when a man named corneilious tuba was picking up tons of hot babes in his hometown. He needed a cool club or something to separate him so everyone would know that he was the man. so saw a baritone in a local pawn shop and thought of how much of a pussy instrument it was, so he looked at the trombone. he decided that it too was a pussy instument. then he bought 17 trombones and 40 baritones and took them home. Mr. tuba then worked for 23 straight hours building thee most manly of manly instruments. When it was created he learned how to jam some sweet tunes and then went out to town to test the beast. As soon as he stepped out of his wagon the ladies flocked to him like the ones on the axe commercials. a young boy saw this and told his friends about it. the beast was from then on known as the tuba. to this day only the elite play this monsterosity and they still pick up all the hot babes.

"did you know hugh hefner played the tuba?"

by cool football player who loves tubas October 13, 2006

sex tuba

A threesome. of one boy and two girls.
One hole to bow in, one to play in, and a stick.

"Did you hear that Johnny plays the sex tuba in band."
"Mann, I'm going to join that class."

by Fezz K. October 10, 2009

tubaker

(too-bake-er)
adj.

1.Slang used in online gaming referring to someone talking (commonly on xbox live or playstation 2 online) or on occasion, typing in a southern drawl, aka a redneck.

Tubaker:Hey why'd y'all gon done and shoot muh master chief????
Player:You suck you dumb tubaker.

by Survive748 May 8, 2005

tuba slurp

When you take a shit into a funnel that runs into a girls mouth, which she then proceeds to puke the poop into the entrance of a tuba. You then play the tuba so that the liquids squirt out into the girls mouth. She then swallows the mixture and eventually shits it out into a bucket, where you then make her cum and squirt into the bucket. You piss into the bucket and pour it into a water gun. You go to a cemetery, dig up a body from a grave, and let it dry in the sun for 24 hours. You go back to the body and shoot the liquids into their urethra. You then piss into the dead bodies mouth and force water down their throat, preferably about a gallon. You wait for the liquids to proceed into the bladder. Next, you fill the vagina of the dead body with shit and cum. You tip the body upside down for 10 seconds, and then you lay it down. You put your mouth over the urethra, and the girl puts her mouth over the vagina; if there is not enough room, just have one person put their mouth over both parts. Take two anvils and have two friends drop them directly on the stomach and bladder. The contents of the carcus will project into you and the girls mouths, giving you an instant, pleasurable taste. You have completed the tuba slurp.

Me and my girlfriend just performed a tuba slurp, it was so fun!

by faglord69xdxd April 10, 2019

Toilet Tuba

See Bowl Echo

I though I had to take a crap but it was Just gas so I ended up playing the Toilet Tuba.

by KangolKRS September 26, 2011