monkey beat

verb: To severely beat somebody in the same fashion and manner as a monkey or ape i.e. with the sides of the fist and forearms, usually in a downward flailing motion. Usually, but not always, said by someone (typically a male) who has hefty forearms and fists that resemble a monkey.

Also, when the attacker is monkey beating someone he is usually does so with little restraint or care for himself or his victim.
"If you change the channel from the Golden Girls I swear to God I will monkey beat you until you are nothing but a wet stain on this carpet!"
by Yeah Prolly January 24, 2012
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wet the monkey

To perform a sexual act involving male genitalia that are moistened by any substance, especially by, ahem, natural lubrication.
I haven't wet the monkey in FOREVER. I'm seriously pining.

Dude, you wet the monkey when you're by yourself? That takes a lot of effort. I normally keep it dry.
by Garr Fizlock March 05, 2009
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Rug Monkey

term for children, specifically one that's just been born.
Man my aunt just squirted out another rug monkey.
by thedeciver January 09, 2009
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spasticated monkey

meaning a person or individual acting very strange or studip. Someone being like a monkey of its brain.
Does he always act like this? "No he's just being a spasticated monkey".
by dylberto32 August 21, 2009
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cock monkey

One who swings from cock to cock like a monkey swings from branch to branch.
Jason sprayed me again with an upside-down can of compressed air...what a cock monkey.;
by teh pwn jAs0n July 27, 2005
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Beer Monkey

An imaginary primate that steals all your money on a night out.
I had to leg it from the taxi driver as the beer monkey had robbed me!
by JC Meister July 05, 2004
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Monkey Island

Silly point-and-click fun at its finest.
"Look behind you! A three headed monkey! ... island."
by Spacecow March 16, 2003
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