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Jovian Split

A predictive algorithmic structure used to determine the probable outcomes of ranked online video game matches by analyzing complex, non-linear sequences in historical match data. The Jovian Split identifies statistically significant clusters in performance trends such as, team skill composition, recurring causes of defeat, opponent behavioral variance, time-of-day performance shifts, and geographically-induced server-side team configuration mismatches. It relies on stochastic modeling and probabilistic inference to surface outcome patterns that repeat under specific conditions with exceptional predictive power.

In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
"The team’s sudden 5-win, 7-loss, 10-win streak isn’t random — it’s a classic Jovian Split forming, triggered by roster consistency and repeated exposure to the same match pool."

The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
by xr100rr July 8, 2025
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Split the wood

A mark ass nigga that splits the backwood instead of unraveling the backwood
Yo this nigga Marcus deadass just split the wood
by Splithewood December 2, 2016
mugGet the Split the woodmug.

Split Head

An enjoyable band that wrote the songs “What a Joke”, and “Boys got bad teeth
Dude 1: Have you heard “Split Head” recently?
Dude 2: Yeah, I love the song “BDUBS”!!
by cranberrypasta February 19, 2021
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European Split

When bowling, a split is where you have two pins left, one on each side. The European split is where you have two pins left on each side.
Carlos: Damn, Justin just hit a European split!
by Dirty Antwan June 8, 2022
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Ham Split

When you go over to a friend's house, down 8 shots in a row, then try to shit in the middle of his house.
Brandi is scared to come over because she thinks Grant will perform his famous Ham Split.
by Dick Thieman April 14, 2016
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60/40 split

The 60/40 split is a form of relationship dynamic, statistically one of the most, if not THE most stable relationship dynamic. It is where the man is the primary earner and pays 60% of the bills, and the woman is the secondary earner who pays 40% of the bills. In terms of chores and childcare, they are split evenly among the couple. This is not to be confused with the 40/60 split where the man pays 40% and the woman pays 60%.

Statistically, a relationship with a male primary earner, female secondary earner, and equal sharing of household responsibilities, is the most stable - with low rates of adultery, low rates of divorce, and high rates of reported marital satisfaction. This is because it strikes a balance with the best of both worlds between traditional and egalitarian relationships, meeting it in the middle.

Kids may or may not be put in daycare, depending on the couple's preferences. Sometimes the government may choose paid transferable parental leave, which is also a good option.
Anna: My boyfriend and I are doing the 60/40 split, it works great for us.
by mohpashun February 1, 2025
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Split Bongo

When you spread your ass cheeks apart and someone slaps you directly in the butthole
Josh: Hey Cass, I want you to give me a split bongo.

Cass: I’m gonna slap your bongo so hard you’ll burp
by Elevatedsack March 27, 2024
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