derpy turtle

A person who customizes cars or motorcycles. Builder of hotrods

That's a badass ride! I wonder who the Derpy Turtle is who built it??

by Derpy Turtle April 17, 2014

fucking turtle

The 'Koopa Troopa' character from "Mario Power Tennis" for Nintendo Gamecube

Steve kept saying "I want my fucking turtle" during a match of 'Mario Power Tennis.'

by DFE December 27, 2004

War turtle

A turtle with a army hat and a strap on minigun

Why have to take down the war turtle it's
Killing everyone

by Senorsuckmymeatballs March 29, 2017

Turtle Snap

Commonly, after a male finishes urinating, he pulls the front half of his briefs back over his groin and goes about his daily routine.

A Turtle Snap occurs when the male loses grip on his underwear halfway up, causing the elastic to snap directly onto the genitals. Side effects may include severe pain in the testicles, depreciation of self-esteem stemming from the brief inability to use basic motor skills, and strange looks from anyone occupying neighboring stalls.

Over-exposure to Turtle Snapping is likely to result in a Schlonky Donk

Bryan: Hey Mike, why are you doubled over?

Mike: I was so relaxed after my urigasm that I turtle snapped myself.

Bryan: Cool story, bro.

by Reasonwriter703 February 11, 2012

Turtle Vulture

Creature takes that takes shelter in someone's closet that plays Xbox all day, and gives up eggs every month for rent.
When frightened it uses it's beak to peck away at the unsuspecting victim.

Dude 1: Don't go in my closet the turtle vulture will get you.
Dude 2: WTF is a turtle vulture?
Dude 1: Go in the closet and find out.
Dude 2: *Opens closet door* "Holy shit, it's pecking my eyes out!"
Dude 1: Curiosity killed the cat.

by Xplode44 June 29, 2011

Turtle Whore

Women who tease excesivly but are slower than old people fucking to give out.

Katie is such a Turtle Whore

by Rawr Cookie February 15, 2006

Jade Turtle

A Jade Turtle is special sex act performed on a man provided at an Asian massage parlor. The masseuse, dripping a small amount of oil onto the mans flaccid penis, gently squeezes the foreskin over the head, pinching it loosely with thumb and forefinger. The opposite hand then tickles the balls or nipples until the penis becomes erect, pushing and poking out of the foreskin like a curious turtles head.

'Man, I stopped at this Asian Massage parlor last week, and before I got my happy ending, the masseuse gave me a Jade Turtle!"

by Dr Knob September 24, 2010