soggy bacon

When a girl expects a guys junk to be erect and happy to see her, and sadly comes to realize its flaccid, or "soggy". Like the actual soggy bacon, its disappointing.

Mike: Hey man, how was that chick last night?
Jaquare: Shit, man. I thought I was ready, but I pulled a soggy bacon on her.

by abofdrjizz June 27, 2014

Cook bacon

Using strong smells to cover up the smell of a fired gun.

I used a scented candle to cook bacon after discharging my 44 mag through my living room wall.

by Patman888 August 19, 2016

bacon shellshock

A condition one suffers from after experiencing the severe emotional stress of the pop/crackling and subsequent splattering of molten-hot grease during the frying of bacon. Though one need not actually be splattered with hot grease and burned, each pop and crackle of the frying bacon causes one to duck and cover in mortal fear.

"Making breakfast has left me with a bad case of the bacon shellshock."

by Bacon Lover 4 Life September 28, 2013

Crotch bacon

Bacon from the genital region.

I could sure go for some crotch bacon with my fallopian eggs.

by Theurbanpalmal February 16, 2020

Fake Baconing

The act of driving to a parking lot, dialing 911 on a burner phone, and attempting to masturbate and finish before police arrive.

Todd was fake baconing, trying to bust a thrill nut last week and he caught a charge for indecent exposure. He's looking at a third strike situation since he had a firearm and blow in the car with him. I don't know what to tell his family, man. His daughter's third birthday is next week. That kid doesn't stand a chance.

by Oh, hayyyy November 27, 2022

Show Bacon

Anything that can be classified as perfect, illustrious, or otherwise worthy of proud display.

Have you ever cooked bacon to sheer perfection? Not too crispy, not too limp? To the point where you are so utterly impressed and proud of your accomplishment that it comes to completely define the concept of "perfection"?

"Dang, that car is some serious show bacon!"
"Aw honey, you are complete show bacon <3"

by kilowatthours June 21, 2019

Big Bacon

A corporate conspiracy of pig farmers whose tentacles of influence extend into politics, Hollywood, and the media. As founding members of ALEC, Big Bacon frequently sponsors pro-bacon legislation and are rumoured to have been involved in the Kennedy assassination.

"Big Bacon donated $3m to the Trump superpac"

by mcgruffallo July 24, 2021