Jerk off and smoke Newports

A figurative description of an attitude towards life, as well as your immediate and distant surroundings. When you refer to yourself or someone else 'just Jerking off and smoking Newports',, you are simply trying to convey that you/they are not letting anything current issue take their mind off themselves. It is the most self-absorbed and least constructive activity imaginable.

Once I get my pension, I am just gonna retreat to my apartment in Des Moines, and then I'm just gonna jerk off and smoke Newports until Yellowstone does us all in, THAT's my 5-year plan!

I tried to pursuade him to get more involved in student politics, but he just sits in his room jerking off and smoking Newports like these things don't affect him!

by how-young-people-talk March 31, 2020

Slide off

A man or woman who you sleep with occasionally on the side of a committed relationship. Example : mistress, side chick, secret lover, friend with benefits on the low.

I was with my slide off when wifey called and I had to stop out for a minute.

by Professor Dan February 20, 2018

Glitchin’ off

To temporarily daze or drift from the conversation subject.

I started GLITCHIN’ OFF during the boring class I was in today.

by Major Thomas May 8, 2018

off the coast

to get so excited on the plane the captain is forced to do an emergency landing on an oil rig in the atlantic ocean.

"where the hell are you?"
"yeah so we had to do an emergency landing and I am currently sunbathing on some oily platform off the coast."

by Krkič April 28, 2019

TV Turned Off

The TV (abbreviation for Television) is a metaphor for the persons life. To turn someone’s TV off is to end their life. Or if someone almost got their TV turned off, they almost lost their life. It could be a literal loss of life, or a hyperbolic loss of life.

1.) My mom is going to turn my TV off if I don’t pass this test tomorrow.
2.) I almost got my TV turned off yesterday when that drunk driver almost ran into me. Luckily the police pulled him over in time before anyone got hurt.

by Jasiriheart April 23, 2025

Cut off your dick December

If you nut 10 times during december, you have to cut it off!

Example:

''Yo dude! Have you nutted more than 10 times this december?''
''Yeah, why?''
''Bro, you do know its ''Cut off your dick December right? YOU HAVE TO CUT OFF YOUR DICK NOW!''

by Chingchanu November 10, 2021

Jeffing off

When you edge yourself to tears

He was in his car jeffing off after work, I saw his mascara run.

by Drows420 July 14, 2025