Reverse Midas Touch

A state-of-being, when, literally, EVERYTHING you touch turns to shit. The more important the thing is, the bigger pile of shit it becomes. There is nothing to be done to reverse this condition except time. Generally doesn't last more than 24 hours. It can also be used to refer to a general trend regarding your state-of-being, not just a single incident. (Like having a bad hair day, this would be a Reverse Midas Touch Day)

You've decided it's time to tell the person you've been dating that you love them. The perfect moment arrives, your faces are close, you smile and say, "I love you so much _______" (insert the name, not of your lover but of your ex - who they know) The look on their face says it all. Your first time sharing your soul with your lover, and it's not just bad, it's total shit. You stammer out an apology, and insert the name of your ex AGAIN, instead of saying their name. A true Reverse Midas Touch Moment. In your attempt to make this moment perfect, your anxiety to do so got the better of you causing you to totally fuck it up. hoisted by your own petard Instead of it being the beautiful moment you wished for, you find yourself going to hell in a hand basket

by WuWu LaFong September 1, 2013

toilet paper touch

when you are wiping your ass and the toilet paper rips so your finger touches your asshole and possibly goes up the asshole by "accident"

dude i was taking a wet ass shit and the toilet paper was really thin so i accidentally did a toilet paper touch

by THE TOUCH July 15, 2009

shoulder touch prank

That thing people do when they put their arm behind your back and touch your shoulder opposite of the side theyre on as a joke and to confuse you. Created by mn

Wtf, why did you just do the shoulder touch prank you goon?

by Momo9 November 29, 2016

Inappropriate touch tuesday

Inappropriate touch Tuesday is a term coined my comedian Daniel Tosh. It is a made up holiday that requires participants to go and inappropriately touch others. The others are most likely non-participants in this holiday. It should be noted that two people of the same sex inappropriately touching each other is not to be considered gay unless the two are unaware or non participants or the touch is extremely gay.

Chris walks by and brushes up against Carolin's butt
Carolin: WTF you pedo
Chris: but it's inappropriate touch tuesday!
Carolin: Oh, I cant believe I forgot!

by Brew Kellen May 17, 2011

touch of death

Conor McGregor's left Hand

"The question is, can Conor land, what the great Firas Zahabi likes to call, the "touch of death" on the chin of Eddie Alvarez"

by MartyFakeSnoozeman February 20, 2020

appropriately touched

prelude to wanted/desired sex! -on the TV news there exists a notion of "inappropriate touch", -this largely translates to: 'GET LOST YA FUCKIN' CREEP'!!

the 'dream' of being 'greenlit' for sex, remains a 'magical moment' for a human of any point of departure!!

in the pick-up bar, janine was appropriately touched! she COULDN'T WAIT to 'GET OFF'!!

being appropriately touched, he fantasized over some 'space travel'!!

she touched him appropriately, he "shot off" accordingly!!

by michael foolsley August 4, 2011

touch the sky

The cutoff point for smoking or consuming marijuana to avoid getting too high.

"You want another hit?"

"Nah, I'm about to touch the sky."

by penisshakes April 23, 2021