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Smochină Smooch Scale

First-known documented scale by an Eastern Bloc author (Nichita Smochină of Moldavia) created for men and women courting one another to rate flirting and kissing on a scale of 1 to 9 (Communist belief did not allow for a 10). The original scale was published in 1930 by Smochină's in the anthology, Cunoștințe Utile ("Useful Knowledge").

As the story goes, Smochină was in Paris at the time, and met a young woman who simply could not flirt or kiss. When he tried to explain to his friends how poorly this woman communicated and later smooched, there was simply no language for explaining this problem. That night, Smochină created the famous Smochină Smooch Scale in one draft. Many say he was divinely inspired.

The rating for #1 took off and gained quite a bit of fame internationally. In its original form, it was "Ăsta se sărută ca o sardină rece de la Marea Neagră" (This one kisses like a cold sardine from the Black Sea.) By the time is was used in speakeasies in Chicago, it had been notably shortened to "Ca un peşte rece" (Like a cold fish).
"So, Fred, tell us. How does she rate on the Smochină Smooch Scale?"
by TexasJewBoy September 27, 2024
mugGet the Smochină Smooch Scalemug.

Depression Scale

When you suffer from MDD (depression), some days are better than others. You may feel fine one day, but the next day you'll feel like you want to die.

The following is a "scale" of how a depressed person's days can go. To make this less confusing, the person will be referred to as "Bob."
The Depression Scale

LEVEL ZERO: Good days

Bob exhibits absolutely no symptoms of depression, and may even appear quite happy.

LEVEL ONE: Standard days

Bob will appear fine on the outside, but on the inside he feels gloomy and disinterested. Don't expect him to tell you about it, though.

LEVEL TWO: Bad days

Things haven't been going well for Bob. Unlike level one where he just feels down, level two depression is where he actually has a reason to feel the way they does. He will most likely want to be alone, and will deflect all forms of conversation.

LEVEL THREE: Mental Breakdown

Bob has had an absolutely awful day and cannot suppress how he feels any longer. He'll tell just about anyone who's willing to lend an ear, and will probably start sobbing halfway through.

LEVEL FOUR: Self-harm

Bob feels so numb inside, he has resorted to physically hurting himself in order to feel something, anything. He doesn't care how dangerous it is for his health; he stopped caring about himself a long time ago.

LEVEL FIVE: Ending it all

Bob is done. He's been pushed around and bullied enough by the universe, and has decided that the only option left is to take his own life.
by Ubeenbamboozledson August 7, 2021
mugGet the Depression Scalemug.

michael scales

person 1: who’s the biggest simp you know

person2: michael scales
by amelia07 April 4, 2021
mugGet the michael scalesmug.

Walker Bonk scale

The walker bonk scale is a medical scale from 0-100 on how hard someone has been hit on the head by someone or something else.
“Doctor he’s been hit on the head with a tyre iron” “ what’s the level of impact nurse?” He’s a 37 on the walker bonk scale.. only slight deformation of the skull” “ send him straight to the bonked specialist” “right away”
by Gary the bonk specialist March 18, 2020
mugGet the Walker Bonk scalemug.

Tipping the scales

1 Don't make a person flip out.

2 You did excellent.
Tipping the scales

* Someone talking crazy* You: Aye man don't make me tip the scales.
*Sarah passes her exam* her friend: daaaaaaaaaamn you tip the scales.
by Tip the scales June 18, 2022
mugGet the Tipping the scalesmug.

COBBS scale

Cavernous Openings and Bottomless Buttholes is the scale used to measure the largest of sphincters. It is the named the COBBS scale after the largest anus ever found. It is the top end of the scale. The small side of the scale is Klosed Coccyx and goes up. The measurement starts when the subject starts to leave stainZ in their underwear.

The term is also used in spelunking because many caves are smaller than the COBBS scale measures.
That gay porn star is so used up they had to use the COBBS scale to measure for a butt plug.
by P. Seudo Nym May 6, 2024
mugGet the COBBS scalemug.

Reiner Scale

A deterministic factor used to compare whether a band is more awesome then doing karaoke at Reiner's house. So named after Robert Reiner who played the character of Meathead in All in the Family. He threw legendary parties where people played role playing games and sung karaoke.
Where does the band rate on the Reiner scale?
by Mrpgmr June 23, 2023
mugGet the Reiner Scalemug.

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