Metasocial Sciences

The study of the study of society. It's the academic equivalent of holding a mirror up to a mirror and trying to analyze the reflection. Metasocial sciences don't examine social behavior directly; they examine the theories, methods, and biases of the people who examine social behavior. It's a field where you can get a PhD for writing a paper about why other academics wrote their papers the way they did, and the ultimate goal is to achieve a state of analytical navel-gazing so pure that you forget there are actual people involved.

Example: "Her thesis in metasocial sciences was a meta-analysis of the citation patterns in papers about citation patterns. It was considered a landmark study by the three people in the world who understood it, and utterly meaningless by everyone else."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metacognitive Sciences

The formal study of thinking about thinking, which inevitably leads to thinking about thinking about thinking, creating an infinite regress that usually ends with you staring blankly at a wall, having forgotten what you were originally thinking about. It's the academic discipline that tries to understand why you can't remember why you walked into the kitchen, why you argue with yourself in the shower, and why your brain decides 3 AM is the perfect time to review every embarrassing moment since 2003. The primary research tool is the "wait, what was I saying?" moment.

Example: "I was deep into metacognitive sciences, analyzing why I always procrastinate. I realized it was because I was afraid of failure. Then I started thinking about why I was afraid of failure, and then why I was thinking about why I was afraid of failure. Two hours later, I had done no work and had achieved a state of pure, unproductive self-awareness."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metalogical Sciences

The academic discipline that studies the systems of logic we use to study everything else, essentially asking "is our reasoning about reasoning reasonable?" It's the field that discovered that any logical system, if powerful enough to describe arithmetic, is either inconsistent or contains statements it can't prove (thanks, Gödel). In practical terms, metalogical sciences explain why every attempt to create a perfectly logical argument on the internet eventually devolves into someone saying "well, that's just your logic, man." It's the science of proving that logic has limits, which is logically frustrating.

Example: "He tried to use metalogical sciences to win an argument with his girlfriend. He explained that her emotional response was logically inconsistent with the premises she'd established. She replied that his reliance on formal logic was a classic example of the limitations of propositional calculus in capturing human experience. He had no response, because she was metalogically correct."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Epistemological Sciences

The formal study of knowledge itself—what it is, how we get it, and whether we can trust it. Epistemological sciences ask the big questions: Can we really know anything? Is your memory reliable? Is that fact you read on the internet actually true? The field has generated millennia of debate and has conclusively proven that certainty is elusive, except for the certainty that certainty is elusive, which is either a paradox or a punchline. Most people avoid epistemological sciences because they prefer to just believe things and move on with their day.

Example: "After taking a course in epistemological sciences, he could no longer read the news without questioning the reliability of the sources, the biases of the reporters, and the fundamental nature of truth itself. He now gets his information exclusively from memes, which he acknowledges are epistemologically worthless but at least admit they're joking."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Formal Sciences

The branch of knowledge that studies abstract structures and symbolic systems, unconcerned with whether they correspond to anything in the real world. Mathematics, logic, and theoretical computer science live here, in a pristine realm where 2+2 always equals 4 and arguments are either valid or invalid, not just "like, your opinion, man." Formal sciences are beautiful, consistent, and utterly indifferent to the messy reality of human existence, which is why mathematicians are so calm and everyone else is so confused.

Example: "He loved the formal sciences because in mathematics, unlike in relationships, things either worked or they didn't, and when they didn't, you could prove why. His girlfriend pointed out that this attitude might be why he had so much time for mathematics."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Psionic Sciences

The study of mental powers as a form of energy that can be measured, manipulated, and potentially weaponized, bridging the gap between psychic phenomena and something that sounds more scientific. Psionic sciences investigate telekinesis (mind over matter), pyrokinesis (mind over fire, please be careful), and the ever-popular "psionic combat" techniques taught in underground forums by people who have definitely never been in a real fight. The field attracts both earnest seekers and aspiring supervillains, creating a fascinating mix of meditation and megalomania.

Example: "He discovered psionic sciences through an online forum and spent months trying to move a pencil with his mind. He stared at it for hours, visualizing energy flowing from his third eye. The pencil never moved, but he did develop a pretty impressive ability to focus, which he used to... stare at other things."

by Nammugal February 14, 2026

Psychic Sciences

The systematic study of claimed mental abilities that defy conventional explanation, such as telepathy, clairvoyance, and knowing exactly who's calling before looking at your phone (though that one's usually just pattern recognition). Psychic sciences attempt to apply rigorous methodology to phenomena that are notoriously difficult to replicate in a lab, especially when the skeptics are watching. The field has generated decades of research, countless conferences, and a reliable conclusion: people really want to believe they can read minds, and scientists really want to prove they can't.

Example: "She got a degree in psychic sciences and set up a practice reading auras. Her methodology was consistent: she'd close her eyes, hum, and then tell people what they wanted to hear. When asked about her success rate, she said the universe works in mysterious ways, which is psychic-scientist for 'I'm guessing.'"

by Nammugal February 14, 2026