noun / myth / urban legend)
A walking flex. Jeff turns heads like it's his part-time job and collects compliments like Pokémon cards. Gender? Irrelevant. Sexuality? Shaken. Jeff is an equal-opportunity thirst trap.
Born into Mensa, but raised by wolves without WiFi. Sometimes he sings like a caffeinated angel, sometimes he annihilates trivia nights with facts no human should know ("Did you know wombats poop cubes?" Yes, Jeff. We do now).
His jeans? People ask where he got them. Custom-forged in a volcano and blessed by denim druids. People assume he’s in the military—not because he said so, but because his aura smells like gunpowder and dominance. His tattoo? A barbed wire so rusty, if you lock eyes with it after 10pm on a Tuesday, you’ll need a tetanus shot and a priest.
Don’t play pool with Jeff unless you enjoy watching your dignity evaporate in HD. He won’t just take your money—he’ll take your sense of purpose.
To meet Jeff, you must first win a street fight with two hookers, their pimp, and a broken beer bottle on MLK Drive while chanting his name backwards. Only then will the Council of Jeffs permit an audience.
He’s the cock of the walk, the sultan of swagger, the human version of a cheat code.
A walking flex. Jeff turns heads like it's his part-time job and collects compliments like Pokémon cards. Gender? Irrelevant. Sexuality? Shaken. Jeff is an equal-opportunity thirst trap.
Born into Mensa, but raised by wolves without WiFi. Sometimes he sings like a caffeinated angel, sometimes he annihilates trivia nights with facts no human should know ("Did you know wombats poop cubes?" Yes, Jeff. We do now).
His jeans? People ask where he got them. Custom-forged in a volcano and blessed by denim druids. People assume he’s in the military—not because he said so, but because his aura smells like gunpowder and dominance. His tattoo? A barbed wire so rusty, if you lock eyes with it after 10pm on a Tuesday, you’ll need a tetanus shot and a priest.
Don’t play pool with Jeff unless you enjoy watching your dignity evaporate in HD. He won’t just take your money—he’ll take your sense of purpose.
To meet Jeff, you must first win a street fight with two hookers, their pimp, and a broken beer bottle on MLK Drive while chanting his name backwards. Only then will the Council of Jeffs permit an audience.
He’s the cock of the walk, the sultan of swagger, the human version of a cheat code.
Girl 1: Yo, did you see that guy doing one-handed push-ups while reciting Shakespeare and solving a Rubik’s cube?
Girl 2: That’s Jeff. But the streets call him El Hefe.
Girl 1: I’m pregnant and I didn’t even touch him.
Quotes:
• “The best preparation for tomorrow is being Jeff today.”
• “Jeff doesn’t chase waterfalls. Waterfalls chase Jeff.”
• “Jeff is the change you want to see in the world, but with better abs.”
Girl 2: That’s Jeff. But the streets call him El Hefe.
Girl 1: I’m pregnant and I didn’t even touch him.
Quotes:
• “The best preparation for tomorrow is being Jeff today.”
• “Jeff doesn’t chase waterfalls. Waterfalls chase Jeff.”
• “Jeff is the change you want to see in the world, but with better abs.”
by K2darizzle May 16, 2025
Get the Jeffmug. Slightly soft, likes gardening and canning cucumbers, making salsa, being in weddings, probably had a colostomy at one point, and has definitely been to jail.
by Peppayourface September 30, 2025
Get the Jeffmug. Captain Man: It Looks Like Someone Just Robbed The Bank
Kid Danger: Well Who Did That? Captain Man: Oh My God!
Kid Danger: What!!
Captain Man: Jeff Was The Criminal Who Robbed The Bank!!!
Kid Danger: How Could He Do That He’s The Most Stupidest Criminal In Swellview!!!
Captain Man: I Know!!
Kid Danger: Lets Go
Captain Man: Lets Blow A Bubble
Kid Danger: And Stop Some Trouble
Captain Man: Good Rhyme
Kid Danger: Thanks
Captain Man: Now Lets Go
Kid Danger: Well Who Did That? Captain Man: Oh My God!
Kid Danger: What!!
Captain Man: Jeff Was The Criminal Who Robbed The Bank!!!
Kid Danger: How Could He Do That He’s The Most Stupidest Criminal In Swellview!!!
Captain Man: I Know!!
Kid Danger: Lets Go
Captain Man: Lets Blow A Bubble
Kid Danger: And Stop Some Trouble
Captain Man: Good Rhyme
Kid Danger: Thanks
Captain Man: Now Lets Go
by ZacharyLopezKirby123 July 22, 2019
Get the Jeffmug. by Jeff Kempster October 15, 2014
Get the Jeff Kempedmug. Gods gift to woman, A mans man
Lovable hugable kind of guy
The kind of man to stay faithful to
The kind of man that u want to be with
Lovable hugable kind of guy
The kind of man to stay faithful to
The kind of man that u want to be with
by JefBrew May 20, 2018
Get the jeff brewermug. When the blow hit, his belly lifted in the air like an empty rut, until his ass cracked. Jeffrey sank down into the grass. His face slid off his ass, so he could see my mouth on his dirty ass cheeks.
I bit and sucked.
Jeffrey's breathing shook. His asshole squeezed my cheeks, filled me, until my teeth rubbed, and Jeffrey moaned in ecstasy. I brought Jeffrey back on the ride, pulled his ass onto my lips, sucked, used my tongue, and fucked up his ass as far as he could go. Jeffrey moaned and shook in orgasm.
When Jeffrey was ready to eat, I climbed onto the grass with him. I kissed his lips and tasted his ass. Jeffrey kept his eyes closed, breathing heavily, wanting me to fuck up his ass.
My fucking lips glided up and down Jeffrey's ass. Jeffrey kept opening and closing his eyes. I felt my balls tighten and my cock twitch. I couldn't hold back. My prick twitched until it exploded in Jeffrey's ass. My dick made a wet, sucking sound.
Jeffrey kept opening and closing his eyes.
Jeffrey
I bit and sucked.
Jeffrey's breathing shook. His asshole squeezed my cheeks, filled me, until my teeth rubbed, and Jeffrey moaned in ecstasy. I brought Jeffrey back on the ride, pulled his ass onto my lips, sucked, used my tongue, and fucked up his ass as far as he could go. Jeffrey moaned and shook in orgasm.
When Jeffrey was ready to eat, I climbed onto the grass with him. I kissed his lips and tasted his ass. Jeffrey kept his eyes closed, breathing heavily, wanting me to fuck up his ass.
My fucking lips glided up and down Jeffrey's ass. Jeffrey kept opening and closing his eyes. I felt my balls tighten and my cock twitch. I couldn't hold back. My prick twitched until it exploded in Jeffrey's ass. My dick made a wet, sucking sound.
Jeffrey kept opening and closing his eyes.
Jeffrey
by The Definer 666 69 420 August 19, 2022
Get the Jeff Bezosmug. 