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sex surrogate gift

gee whiz! -another fucking birthday (christmas), and you're still having to get off alone!! how sad! i'm (santas') going to bring you a nice sex surrogate gift this year. you can rest back and 'watch the stars', while the surrogate does all the 'work'!!

you couldn't 'score' with michael foolsley 'cause you were three hundred pounds!!?? -no problem!!...in this box is a phone number...call the number, and order up YOUR type of sex surrogate!!
judy got the sex surrogate gift this year!! -after she got off, she was all smiles!

i'm hoping somebody gives me the sex surrogate gift this year!!!
by michael foolsley December 28, 2009
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Better than sex

Better than sex is what bts stands for
"Bts stands for better than sex"
"Lies sex is better"
"Shut up you virgin ass bitch"
by Lose holed slut December 24, 2018
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roast dinner sex

some people like food and sex.
roast dinner sex is the perfect comprimise.
it involves roast dinner being eaten/licked off a torso. proceeded by crazy ass sex. the whole works, yorkshire puddings, sprouts, beef and most importantly lashings of gravy.
hey dude i had such great roast dinner sex today
by craigabc1234 May 30, 2008
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Substitute Hole Sex

also known as SHS.
Another way to say Anal Sex.
When I woke up with mud on my helmet from the drunken Substitute Hole Sex last night, I flipped out.
by shabooty.com January 9, 2008
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Second Hand Sex

A Street Punk/Ska band from Cincinnati, Ohio/Northern Kentucky. They typically have a very aggressive audience and a very angry style. They definitely fit the description of Punk Rock. Their faced paced guitar riffs, ska upstrokes, complex bass lines, and very fast drumming make them a truly unique addition to the punk scene.
Second Hand Sex
Jesus Died Crucified, The Military Doesn't Belive In Saftey Triggers, You're So Fake, California, Our Generation.
by ScreechingWeaselKicksAshTrays December 21, 2008
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Clean Sex People

1.A type of individual unbeknownst to the common man that is worthy to engage in sexual intercourse on newly purchased or gently used microfiber couches due to the indelible virtue of ultra-hygienic intercourse that leaves all furniture as pure as the day it was purchased.

2. What your girlfriend wants you to be before you can have sex on the couch.
Though Gina didnt want to interrupt the passion that had arisen between she and Dick, she knew the eve would be filled with regret if she could not find a way to get off the new microfiber couch...because clearly they were not clean sex people.
by TEEeyePEE October 30, 2010
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hot kinky sex

When he's so hairy your get rug burn from intercourse
by virginitythwft2015 June 30, 2017
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