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you and your hand

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All you're going to have tonight is your hand to keep you busy 'cause the only thing you got turned is down.
Girl: "Ew gross. I will NOT have sex with you!"
Guy: "Man, she turned me down."
Friend: "Well dude, I guess its just you and your hand tonight!"
:P
by cassieLOGAN May 12, 2007
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A threatening statement that is so profoundly impossible that it will both amuse, confuse and terrify its recipient.
If you make that annoying noise again, "I will choke you with your own asshole!!!"
by asshole choker March 26, 2010
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When somebody yee haws before they dies, they yeed their last haw
Guy 1: Yee haw
Guy 2: You yeed your last haw, partner
Guy 1: OH NOOOOOOO
by Spaoggers April 21, 2020
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An analogy used to respond to someone who has an odd method of doing something, one that is different to the normal way and different to your way of doing it.
John: How are you getting to work tomorrow?
Bill: I’m planning on riding a unicycle
John: However you cook your chicken then.
by NoLeafClover June 20, 2020
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Have you lost the fucking plot?!?!

(Brought to you from the scrupulous, impervious and enigmatic Steven Haynes. Remember no d's in gawtamn. Pause.)
Dad: Son, take out the trash.
Son: You take out the trash.
Dad: You lost your gawtamn socks?!
by kuttino1 December 16, 2021
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Seemingly a simple marketing slogan used by all civil and criminal solicitors, this famous line is actually from Breaking Bad season 2 episode 8. It makes a hilarious appearance in Saul Goodman's television advertisement:

"Hi I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I."

It is most commonly used amongst members of the unofficial, imaginary, crack-addicted breaking bad community that every zealous Breaking Bad viewer thinks they are uniquely apart of. The phrase is also the reason that many aspiring students have mistakenly entered the legal profession and incompetently represented and let down innocent people to the blood-thirsty prosecutors.
Friend 1: "This Subway is so terrible they never properly wrap my sandwich, it's literally at risk of falling apart."
Friend 2: "Did you know you have rights?"
Friend 1: "Constitution says you do."
Both friends: "And so do I."

*Friend 1 has just been convicted of gross negligence manslaughter after jokingly pushing their best friend down steep stairs and causing their death. They are in court awaiting sentencing by the judge.*
Friend 1: *anxious and regretful* "I didn't mean to. I can't believe I did that man. I-I-I ca-can't bel-"
Friend 2: "Calm down. Calm down! Did you know you have rights!?"
*Judge looks up in confusion*
Friend 1: *wipes tears from eyes and sniffles* "Constitution says you do!"
Judge: *slams gavel* "Order please!"
Both friends together: "AND SO DO I!"
by bradleysheadissick August 17, 2023
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