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matriculated manlet

The matriculated manlet is a silly, little manlet boy who is senselessly enrolled at a college or university. Here the completely delusional and diminutively dwarfed Oompa Loompa wastes his time (when not working shifts at the chocolate factory) by furiously staring at all the tall and happy couples who walk around the campus like the bitter and envious peewee manlet that he is, crying all alone in the girl's bathroom after being asked by campus security if he was there for Take Your Daughter to Work Day and if he had lost his daddy and by being stuffed into backpacks, lockers, trashcans, lunchboxes, drawers, toilets, empty cigarette packs, pencil cases and used condoms like the inherently effeminate and minusculely malformed midget manlet bully magnet that he was always destined to be. When not being examined microscopically while standing on a petri dish by horrified microbiology students, the matriculated manlet is free to indulge in his true passions of girlishly practicing his bumbling cheerdance routine in an effort to become the captain of the local manlet football cheer squad and undergoing a brutal hazing ritual in order to join the only fraternity that would accept him, the Sigma Beta Manlet, by engaging in a fight to the death against fourteen other oiled up, bikini-clad midgets in an electrified bird cage.
Emma: Hey, why is that matriculated manlet tearfully ranting about women while sitting in his BMW in the parking lot over there? I could barely understand his manletspeak. Why all of the manlet rage? Isabella: He approached me, introduced himself as the supreme gentleman and brusquely told me to get in his car so that I can delight in his fabulousness and magnificence. I simply looked down at him and laughingly called him a petite and utterly insignificant little manlet fairy and then he just ran away crying to his Manletmobile. Emma: Manlets, when will they learn?
by ManletDepreciator September 16, 2024
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medieval manlet

The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.
Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
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manlet uprising

The top secret manlet (stunted sissy boys shorter than 5ft10) plan to somehow sneakily overthrow the rightfully ruling magnificent manmores (6ft+ tall real men) and average height (5ft10/11) men who naturally terrify them and to then finally live in a fictional manlet paradise where high heels are free and height actually doesn't matter (because everybody is a devastatingly dwarfed and girlishly gnomish manlet queen). Here the microscopically minuscule midget manlet monstrosities would of course live completely segregated from all womenfolk because even when there isn't a single manmore left on earth, obviously no women is going to consent to committing social suicide by dating a preposterously petite and scandalously stunted, puny little manlet princess. And so the inherently effeminate manlet fairies are then forced to replicate by means of mitosis, a fact that amusingly doesn't prevent them from perpetrating aggressive mating attempts upon one another and collectively engaging in mortifyingly futile manlet mating rituals in front of basketball arenas and microbiology labs. Manlets, when will they learn?
Manmore 1: Do you think that the Bagel Boss Manlet would be the ladylike leader of a short-lived and subsequently subjugated manlet uprising or would the dubious honor got to Todd "Turbo-manlet" Howard? Manmore 2: Tiny Todd "Stacked Heels" Howard, for sure! Manmore 1: Todd "High Heeled Homunculus" Howard it is then. Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 11, 2024
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prison wife manlet

A dominated sissy manlet who resides deep in the bowels of the United States prison system. Going by cute nicknames such as Strawberry, Shortstack, Delicious or Tinkerbell, the prison wife manlet delightedly embraces his natural role as the belle of the ball in the penitentiary. Puny and inherently effeminate as he obviously is, the prison wife manlet enjoys preparing spreads, washing clothes, cleaning cells, gossiping while doing his nails with the other diminutive and therefore subjugated jailhouse sissy manlets and is always eager to service the amorous desires of all imposing manmores in the vicinity, thereby ecstatically submitting to a real man and being dominated as nature intends it.
I wonder what would happen to Tiny Tom Cruise if the petite, little manlet boy were to be sentenced to a lengthy prison term? Are you kidding me? That girlish and minuscule midget monstrosity would immediately turn into a prison wife manlet just by driving past a prison yard! Manlets BTFO. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 21, 2024
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murloc manlet

The infinitesimal murloc manlet is a dwarfed beastling of a moronic manlet boy who, after suffering through a ludicrous lifetime of well-deserved humiliations and rejections inflicted on him by society as a whole but especially women, has chosen to pursue a sub-aquatic lifestyle, only venturing onto dry land to take part in mortifying prearranged monthly manlet mating rituals in front of basketball arenas and microbiology labs. Once underwater the microscopic murloc manlet quickly adapts to his new environment by eagerly embracing his naturally menial role as a proctologist cleaner fish and feverishly feasts on the rectums and fecal matter of all of the much larger sea creatures in the vicinity. Often falling prey to seagulls, seahorses, fin rot, sunburn, aggressive mating attempts by other murloc manlets, Napoleon complex psychosis, diarrhea and to being caught and eaten alive by prowling grizzly bears and manmores who hunt by the riverbank - the life of a murloc manlet is short, just like the silly murloc manlet itself. Consequently the minuscule murloc manlet eternally resides at the very bottom of the undersea food chain, thereby ironically replicating the lamentably and laughably lowly life that the severely stunted sissy manlet sought to escape from in the first place and in doing so once again proving that height is everything. Manlets, when will they learn?
Emma: Hey, why is that frog floating face down in that puddle over there? Aubrey: Yuck! Manlet detected. It's a deceased murloc manlet. Emma: Just gross! I think he choked to death on that pellet of rabbit poop floating there next to him. Aubrey: Manlets BTFO. Truly a befitting end for a manlet. Emma: Lol, so true.
by ManletDepreciator September 1, 2024
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Hollaback Manlet

A hollaback manlet is a petite and effeminate, little manlet princess (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by his overpowering manletism-induced small man syndrome, that the perpetually petulant and preposterously puny, girlishly gnomish runt of an Oompa Loompa Ewok sissy manlet fairy instantly erupts into comically childish manlet rage at even the slightest provocation (real or imagined by the quarrelsome manlet queen). Known for throwing hissy fits when asked to sit at the kid's table at family gatherings, crying himself to sleep every night because the microscopically minuscule midget monstrosity is even shorter than Gwen Stefani and furiously engaging in extremely embarrassing public verbal manletspeak catfights with other hunched hollaback manlets because all of the scandalously stunted sissy manlets are hopelessly in love with the same massive and magnificent manmore, the haplessly hateful hollaback manlet never falls short of radically raising the bar for mortifying manlet cope and devastatingly delusional mental midget manlet mathematics. Chris "Bagel Boss Manlet" Morgan is the perfect example of the hilarious consequences that inevitably occur when a high heels wearing hollaback manlet feels slighted in even the tiniest and most insignificant way, if only for the shortest amount of time.
Myopic manlet: Uh-huh, this my shit, all the manlets stomp your tiny feet like this... Manmore: Manlet detected. Halt! Instantly cease your manletspeak and scarf down your high heels before I perform a citizen's arrest by stuffing you into this half-empty cigarette packet! Don't make me call the Manlet Detection Agency, you spinelessly subhuman, short people got no reason, halfling Homunculus hollaback manlet!
by ManletDepreciator October 8, 2024
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manlet tossing

The highly entertaining, hilarious and trendy new sport of manlet tossing, which is surely soon to be recognized by the International Olympic Committee as an Olympic sport, consists of two or more competitors who take turns selecting a captured manlet out of the manlet pile in the adjacent manlet pit, to then effortlessly lift the pint-sized pipsqueak peewee manlet up onto their shoulders, before subsequently tossing the dwarfishly diminutive, stunted little manlet boy as far as they possibly can. If most of the onlookers refrain from urinating into the manlet pit over the course of the competition, then the kidnapped manlets will even agree to sing their favorite song Short People in veneration of their God and hero Randy Newman as they are being hurled through the air!
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that group of children standing around in that parking lot over there? Manmore 2: They seem to be engaging in the universally popular new sport of manlet tossing. Lol, that little girl just threw a subhumanly stunted squealing sissy manlet clear across the parking lot into a nearby trashcan, where he obviously belongs! Manmore 1: Gold medal! Manmore 2: Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 1, 2024
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