Constipated

The Shit don't come out

Me: Doctor! I think i'm constipated.
Doctor: What did you eat?
Me: Really nothing but i did shove flex tape up my ass.
Morgan Freeman: And the moral here is.. Don't shove flex tape up your ass

by qwertyhujkjhgfdfgbnmhbg October 30, 2018

Constipated

When you're full of crap, and you don't give a shit

John was full of crap, but he couldn't shit, he was constipated

by Mystic_Snowfang June 25, 2009

Constipated

Suppose you haven't taken a shit for a while and every time you go to the bathroom your poop does not budge because it is firmly stuck and rock hard. You strain yourself but still you cannot get the turd out and you tear your butt hole while you are crying and trying to push it out. This feeling of extreme pain and not being able to pass shit is constipation and one calls you "constipated".

Tom who was not being able to take a crap because the poop was extremely hard ,felt relieved after the doctor explained to him that he was constipated and recommended a suppository.

by Hp October 17, 2012

constipated

When you mentally have to go poopie, but you can't physically go poopie.

I gotta go pooooooooopie!!!!!!!

by Screw u bitch August 6, 2004

constipated

1- When your shit is stuck up your ass hole, hoping it will finally let out.
2- Kinda feels like giving birth out of your ass.
3- Hurts like fuck.
4- If you push too hard, your head will blow up.
5- The total opposite of diarrhea.

James- "Holy fuck! My crap is like, stuck up my ass!"
Mom- "Really? How does it feel?"
James- "Like I'm giving birth to a brick!"
Mom- "Force harder then!"
James- "But my ass is gonna like, tear or something."
Mom- "Oh well, not my problem that you are constipated."

by Hitler (yes i am female) February 11, 2009

constipated

When it feels like you have a tennis ball sized rock in your anus and you just want to relieve yourself of it, but when you sit on the toilet and strain it doesn't come out because it's rock hard and your anus cannot stretch wide enough for it to come out without tearing. Also the reason why I have a hemroid that I'm severely self conscious about & I refuse to have sex with anyone until it shrinks.

FUCK! I've had to shit for days but I'm constipated. I almost feel like puking the turd out.

by Turd Expert April 20, 2009

constipated

you cannot take a dump because your butthole is messed up at the moment, but you cannot poop for a looong time

ohhh man, I have shat for 2 weeks!

Damn! you must be constipated!

by yoimfromtokyobizatch March 1, 2004