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A sudden and violent sickness with the primary symptom being total liquification and elimination of the entire intestinal tract over a period of days.

During ass flu the infected will experience defication with the consistency of burnt coffee every thirty minutes for at least three days. The accumulated stress will usually lead to an angy starfish with a peanut.

Ass flu is almost always contracted by eating at buffet restaurants frequented by mobs of geriatrics; Golden Coral, Fire Mountain Grill, or Luby's.
I didn't want to go Fire Mountain Grill because it looked like ass flu waiting to happen. When my friend Matt went there he got the worst case of ass flu ever. He said his starfish was destroyed by a peanut cluster.
ass flu by Matt Simmons October 16, 2006
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kiss my ass flu 

refers to the fabricated condition from which an employee is suffering when he or she calls in sick not because of a real illness but because he or she is resentful, frustrated or burnt out as a result of being mistreated by his or her boss.
"There's a shoe sale on at the mall tomorrow; I think I have suddenly developed a terrible case of kiss my ass flu and won't be able to come in to work."
kiss my ass flu by Shafty May 16, 2006

Bitch ass flu 

Someone who acts like a bitch seasonally
Ayo i heard BIG KEV has the bitch ass flu
Bitch ass flu by The_General234 August 16, 2019

Bitch ass flu 

Someone who acts like a bitch seasonally
Ayo i heard BIG KEV has the bitch ass flu
Bitch ass flu by The_General234 August 16, 2019
when your ass is so dirty and skanky that it smells like you were up all night sitting on the shitter because of the flu.
Six Feet Under: Atomic - I passed on buffing the knob on that dick dancer at the tricky disco cause I could smell the back from the front.

Atomic: Damn Dude. That must have been some nasty flu ass!
flu ass by atomic mike May 12, 2009

ass flute 

1) (v.) To blow smoke up one's ass.

2) (n.) Someone who blows smoke up their ass for person gain or advancement.
Jack is such and ass flute.
ass flute by hard worker November 6, 2008