Ham Scramble 

The desperate attempt to tuck your junk back into your pants or under the covers after your mother walks in on you masturbating and giving yourself a hearty wanking.

Frank: Hey brahhhh! Why the long face?
Carl: Bad morning. I was giving myself of good old fashioned wank this morning before school and well.......mom walked in on me.
Frank: Were you able to Ham Scramble?
Carl: No. She handed me a tissue and walked out.

Ham Scramble by Eaton Holgoode September 30, 2015

Scrambled Ham 

The vagina is excessively loose and resembles ham being scrambled in a pan.

I ate my girlfriends scrambled ham and it was all over my face.

Scrambled Ham by josh grier July 26, 2005