Assumolate
Assumolate (v.)(uh-SOOME-oh-late; uh-late): To make an assumption about something, and then to make inferences & extrapolations BASED PURELY on that assumption.
Ex. #1
Girl #1: "I know he's going to leave me."
Girl #2: "WHAAT?? What makes you think that??? I thought you guys just had a great time in Ontario?"
Girl #1: "Yeah, we did, but there was this one point where he said he wished he hadn't left his favorite gloves at home, and there was a look in his eyes when he said it that said what he was REALLY saying was that I should've brought them, and that he thinks it's my fault, and he thinks that I'm forgetful & that I'm an idiot, and that now, because of that, he can't consider me suitable wife material because if I'm THAT forgetful about his favorite gloves, HOW CAN I BE TRUSTED TO NOT BE THAT FORGETFUL ABOUT OUR CHILD, and he'll leave me."
Girl #1: "Calm down & stop assumolating..........I'm sure it wasn't that serious."
Ex. #2
Guy #1: "Bro, I KNOW she's into me. Look: two days ago, she smiled at me. Then yesterday, she walked by, and tried to SHYLY touch my hand."
Guy #2: "Bruh, 1) she wasn't smiling at you, she was smiling at Erica, who HAPPENED to be standing near us, BECAUSE SHE WAS TALKING TO US, and 2) she didn't 'touch your hand', she was walking down the hallway, and that linebacker chic from Home Room bumped into her and her hand accidentally touched yours as a result. Don't get crazy bro. Stop assumolating."
Ex. #1
Girl #1: "I know he's going to leave me."
Girl #2: "WHAAT?? What makes you think that??? I thought you guys just had a great time in Ontario?"
Girl #1: "Yeah, we did, but there was this one point where he said he wished he hadn't left his favorite gloves at home, and there was a look in his eyes when he said it that said what he was REALLY saying was that I should've brought them, and that he thinks it's my fault, and he thinks that I'm forgetful & that I'm an idiot, and that now, because of that, he can't consider me suitable wife material because if I'm THAT forgetful about his favorite gloves, HOW CAN I BE TRUSTED TO NOT BE THAT FORGETFUL ABOUT OUR CHILD, and he'll leave me."
Girl #1: "Calm down & stop assumolating..........I'm sure it wasn't that serious."
Ex. #2
Guy #1: "Bro, I KNOW she's into me. Look: two days ago, she smiled at me. Then yesterday, she walked by, and tried to SHYLY touch my hand."
Guy #2: "Bruh, 1) she wasn't smiling at you, she was smiling at Erica, who HAPPENED to be standing near us, BECAUSE SHE WAS TALKING TO US, and 2) she didn't 'touch your hand', she was walking down the hallway, and that linebacker chic from Home Room bumped into her and her hand accidentally touched yours as a result. Don't get crazy bro. Stop assumolating."
Assumolate by cloud4xL November 14, 2018
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