Skip to main content

Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group

A loose network of individuals, generally connected through online communications, dedicated to spreading the belief that 'online' poker is 'rigged'. The most common belief is that players are 'fed' above-average starting hands to make them play more pots, thus supposedly increasing rake for the site.

An objective analysis quickly reveals this to be unworkable. Pre-loading players with excellent starting hands would in fact *lower* rake overall. This is because such a practice would invariably cause play to occur over a small number of large pots, rather than a large number of small pots. Since most sites 'cap' the rake at a given figure (typically taking a maximum of $3 per pot regardless of size), this would be deleterious to profit. Additionally, after a small series of large pots, *at least* one person at the table will have lost all their money. Hence no more pots (and thus no more rake) *at all*.

The nonsensicality of the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group's beliefs is no deterrent to the promulgation of their credo. This is because these are, invariably, losing players, who do not wish to acknowledge that they have been repeatedly beaten in a game of skill by players whose skill is superior to theirs. It is perhaps a noteworthy comment on the human condition that such conspiracies do not exist with regards to other skill games where money is not directly used as a tool of play.

The Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group exists so that its members may continue to delude themselves about their poker ability, comfort each other over their soooooo-so rigged rivers, ignore pot odds and implied odds, and collectively justify committing mass credit-card fraud, since 'it's not stealing if they're thieves too'.
I made the nuts on the flop, checked, and checked the turn... this MOFO is there checkin' right back behind me... river... a DIAMOND omfg so f-in RIGGED, the guy had a FLUSH omg roflmao can't believe he HAD A FLUSH... NO F-ING WAY THE ODDS ARE LIKE QUADRILLIONS TO ONE I'm off to join the Poker Conspiracy Self-Support Group!

Poker Bum 

Poker Bum- is a person that hangs out and plays poker in card rooms 24/7. This person usually plays poker just to get by and has no career goals or actual income. In general they are irresponsible, burnt out negative people with no work ethic.
To spot a Poker Bum aside from his constant presence, you may hear him complain about how much money he used to have and how unlucky he is. This person may randomly and unusually be nice to you for the sole purpose of trying to 'Bum' money from you.
Poker Bum by Purplelair February 4, 2010

poker chip 

Noun: Nip, as in woman's nipple. So-called because it is the size, shape and colour of a red poker chip. Plus, they sometimes poke out of a blouse.
"I think I saw a little poker chip action in that picture."
poker chip by Adman12 October 5, 2005

Poker Face

Lady Gaga claimed on interview with Jonathan Ross on Friday night with Jonathan Ross. A TV program in the UK that her song 'Poker Face' was inspired by when she used to ''make love'' to her ex boyfriend and she would pretend that he was a girl and that they were having lesbian sex but without telling him, Hence the term 'Poker Face'
She had a poker face that showed nothing to her lover that she was fantasizing about something else other than her boyfriend when they made love.
Poker Face by dr6785 April 21, 2009

poker face

an expressionless face(becuase people keep thier faces expressionless during a game of poker)
Why does he always have a poker face all the time?
poker face by Light Joker June 21, 2005

Poker Face

(in poker) An impassive facial expression cultivated to prevent other players from determining whether one's actions in the game are the result of a quality hand, or of bluffing.
(Lady GaGa's song) similar expression used to prevent giving away one's motives, feelings, or situation. Like in that song when she pretends to like the guy but she's actually thinking about girls.
(in poke) He thought he had a perfect poker face.
Lady GaGa's song) can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face.
Poker Face by _GaGaGirl** April 17, 2010