1: (n.) A person infatuated with the heavy metal culture of America in the 1980s. Such individuals almost exclusively drop out of high school to join a pathetic cover band, wear Metallica T-shirts and
leather pants, and are often found living at rock concerts or in their parents' basements. The only profession in which heshers are qualified to work is as waitstaff at a Hard Rock Cafe. Ironically, though many heshers are not old
enough to have experienced the 1980s, they still collect obsolete vinyl records and have the terrible misconception that
Motley Crue is still a popular band. The definition of hesher may partially coincide with the
definitions of goth or baker. Etymology: derived from 'Hessian', referring to masculine Germanic mercenaries from Hesse. (These mercenaries were actually chill, unlike heshers, who likely were not even popular during the 1980s.)
2: (adj.) Of or relating to heshers or hesher culture. Also 'hessian'. (cf. the related concept 'emo'.)
Chill your tits! Just offer the heshers free beer to calm them down, then call
animal control.
Holy crap, does that retarded 17-year-old who smells like cheap ganja actually have a blue mohawk,
black skinny jeans, and a Kiss T-shirt? He's totals hesher!
Bro, if you keep going to Black Sabbath concerts, you might go hesher on me.