tesco lottery

The Tesco lottery is a game played by people who get deliveries of groceries from the supermarket chain Tescos.

Tescos seem to be remarkably bad at packing one's whole order in full and without bits of other people's orders. Thus, some deliveries you find you are missing a few items; you have lost the Tesco lottery, as some other person has your smoked salmon... however, you just call Tesco and get a refund.

Now, somewhere else there is a person with your smoked salmon and somebody else's bottle of vodka, but they are missing some toilet paper; they call Tesco and get a refund on the toilet paper, but keep the other stuff they didn't order; they have won the Tesco lottery.

The fun thing with the Tesco lottery is that the only real looser is Tesco.

1. "I won the Tesco lottery today... I didn't get a bottle of Pepsi, but I did get two bottles of wine, a pack of coco-pops and some rump steak in exchange; oh, and of course I called Tesco for a refund on the Pepsi."

2. "Damn it, I lost the Tesco lottery! Where's my wine, coco-pops and steak? All I have is this Pepsi I didn't order. Oh well, I'll keep the Pepsi and get a refund from Tesco on the missing stuff."

tesco lottery by Aoife303 November 22, 2006

TESCO PHOBIA 

Tesco Phobia is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of groceries, self check out services, and and all other activities having to do with shopping at tesco

I once purposely tripped over to avoid shopping at tescos with my wife. She thinks I have tesco phobia

TESCO PHOBIA by J-H Marwood October 11, 2017

tesco value 

the cheapest version of products found in tesco stores

tescos own brand products

ridiculously cheap prices but the quality of the product is usually sh*t

guy 1: wtf is wrong with these batteries... i took one photo then they ran out
guy 2: tesco value batteries?
guy 1: yup

girl 1: omg this shower gel stinks, what is it?!
girl 2: tesco value duh

bill: woah check it out you can get baked beans for 9p!
bob: yeah bill, they're tesco value, they suck

tesco value by dontstartaband June 29, 2006

Tesco Legs 

a gurl/woman who has her legs open 24/7 like Tesco the shop

- OMG! ur friend Sara's go such a Tesco Legs! ...
- lol... I noe! =

Tesco Legs by Jess Willcox January 20, 2009

Tesco picnic 

A late night trip to a supermarket, normally performed under the influence of alcohol. The supermarket of choice is usually Tesco due to its 24-hour opening times. A selection of goods is purchased and are consumed in the car park.

It's 1 am and we're bored... let's rock down to Chesterfield for a Tesco Picnic.

Tesco picnic by Andrew Waite September 24, 2005

Tesco Value Lemmings 

The Tesco Value Lemming is the natural evolution of the ordinary lemming, sped up by the effect of nuclear radiation from Tesco's main power source. The Tesco Value Lemming is blue and white, and leaps off doorsteps and low shelves.

Occasionally more daring ones can be bred which will jump off fences, windowsills or use tiny bikes to leap over pits of spikes or flames. They are generally taken as the alpha males of the group, or "shop floor", until the mis-judge a jump and plummet to their death in the frozen foods section.

"I was going to buy a hamster today, but I found two Tesco Value Lemmings for only 99p!"

Tesco Value Lemmings by Dave Beaste April 26, 2006

Tesco Run 

You’re at home. You’re lacking supplies. Maybe you fancy chocolate, a drink, sweets, even a classic meal deal. Sometimes you need something for an occasion, for example, a birthday, or mother’s day. You need to go on a Tesco Run! Text your nearest friend, and get your way!

Hey, I need to buy my Mam a card.
Let’s go on a Tesco Run!

Tesco Run by Beefcake101 March 1, 2018