left-handed cheese straightener 

1. A complicated-seeming gadget, the purpose of which is nonexistent or difficult to discern. Popularized by comedian George Carlin in a skit where he explained that only in America was the patent for a left-handed cheese straightener already taken.

2. Something odd that can only be found in America.

Person 1: What the #$%&@ is that jumble of levers and pulleys supposed to be?
Person 2: Why, it must be a left-handed cheese straightener!

left-handed cheese straightener by Mlle. Plath April 2, 2006

Spaghetti Straightener 

A woman who turns a gay man into a straight man

That girl is a real spaghetti straightener.

Spaghetti Straightener by TurnThemStraight September 25, 2018

straightening my hair 

using an outrageously expensive heating device that slowly kills your hair in order to make it straight like asian hair

Look at what straightening my hair did!

straightening my hair by dancerxox9 October 16, 2008

Japanese Straightening 

A way to chemically straighten one`s hair so it remains straight for 6 months to a year. Usually takes up to five hours and can cost anywhere from $80-$300. Damages hair a bit but leaves it stick-straight.

Odette got her hair Japanese Straightened on Saturday, and it was so shiney and straight I couldn`t believe it! Especially since she had extremely curly hair before she got Japanese Straightening.

Japanese Straightening by RichardFanx3 August 24, 2006

Straightening Iron 

1.) An electronic device which uses applied pressure and heat to straighten one's hair.

2.)By its name one may assume that this is a tool which will enhance the masculinity of homosexual males; ironically, however, its application makes you look gayer.

Example 1
Girl: I go to the tanning salon 4 days a week. I wear mac make up. And I use a straightening Iron on my bleached hair.

Other Girl: Cool. Now no one can tell that by nature you're not very attractive.

Example 2
Guy: I think I'm gonna cut my hair. It's too wavy to grow out.

Girl: Just use a straightening iron.

Guy: Sure, that sounds like a blast!
..........15 minutes later.........
Guy: Well, my hair looks straight, but I look much the opposite.

Straightening Iron by Kawlyn1029 July 4, 2005

straighten 

To pay off a 'bent' or corrupt official

Jack straightened out the copper and we got let off

straighten by Damian M January 10, 2009

Straightred 

n.: A contraction of the words "straight hatred". Straightred is often exhibited by a hater. Straightred is characterized by unfettered and blatant haterism with no attempts to be cordial or to sugar coat; hating on something with no other provokation other than to exude hate and negative energy.

"Yo, why you gotta hate on my day-glo green shoelaces dawg? That's straightred...you know they're hot"

Straightred by Thisisjohnsmith April 10, 2007