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You want a cookie? 

A snarky way of trying to give a backhanded compliment to someone who has just tried to arrogantly, and often unjustifiably, toot their own horn.
Bob: Oh I am just the hottest thing since sliced bread.

Sue: Oohhh! You want a cookie?
You want a cookie? by letmenot October 16, 2010

Want a cookie? 

Sarcastic response to someone who either boasts about something as if they deserve a reward for it, says something that nobody cares about but acts like everyone should, or says something that you can't really respond to. Rarely used IRL; most commonly used on internet forums.
Poster 1: I got a papercut yesterday.
Poster 2: ...Want a cookie?
Want a cookie? by danthaman15 June 22, 2009

do you want a cookie 

When someone tells you something that you don't care two fucks about.
Dawson: It's 9:15
Sarah: Okay, do you want a cookie?

what do you want a cookie? 

Comeback to someone who is bragging.
PERSON 1: I FINISHED MY LAPS FIRST!
PERSON 2: cool. What do you want a cookie??

I'm sorry, want a cookie? 

A phrase said in response to a completely pointless story in which one bitches about something nobody cares about.

Can be said either extremely and obviously sarcastically or with extreme concern. Both methods are fairly effective in making the victim look like a fag.
1. Stupid bitch's facebook status that's just looking for attention: Oh my god, I'm so ugly, my boyfriend hates me, my life sucks!

Any normal person: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

2. *Person rambles on 5 minutes about pointless story of how their life sucks*

Me: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

if you give a mouse a cookie 

This is a term used to refer to people who push themselves into your house as soon as you let them put their put in the door. Metaphorically speaking. If you give someone an edge of hope or anything, they will try to take advantage of that and get more.
Sally: Ugh...so my prom date wants to take me out on a date. Like more than friends.

Brenda: Well, if you give a mouse a cookie...