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the peas have fallen in the mayonaise 

oh shit! sometimes there are also peas on the table and floor. somtimes though its not your fault and thats more a case of somebody else throwing a handful of peas at the mayonaise, quite spiteful really.
doing bad things and people finding out

Send the maid down for some mayonaise 

Requesting the service of a young lady to syphon the python through oral gratification.
Please excuse me, I just have to pop into the library to send the maid down for some mayonaise.