bagel 

A really old doughnut

Next time you ask for a "shmear" on that bagel, you should ask for sprinkles too. Why? A "hole" lot of cheating at the Kwik-E-Mart, that's why. Turns out that Apu is selling chewy week-old donuts -- from the bagel bin! Is nothing sacred? In this reporter's opinion, no.

bagel by Homer Simpson December 27, 2004

Bagel 

A man who prefers a margarita over a whiskey straight.

“All your friends have a glass of Jameson, but you always get the frozen strawberry margarita... you’re such a bagel.”

Bagel by Little Blacky June 14, 2018

bagel 

Long ago, when the doughnut was invented, the entirety of planet Earth rejoiced at the delicious iced pastry, until one day, somebody pointed out that it contained the word "ugh", which is commonly associated with horror and dismay. This eventually led to "doughnut" being shortened to "donut", all for the better. A bagel is a lesser donut. It effectively puts the "ugh" back in "doughnut" and should be avoided at all costs if a donut is available.

*Todd is about to put a bagel in his mouth when Sean cuts him off.*

Sean: Dude, we have donuts.

Todd: Thanks, Man. I owe you one.

*Todd eighty-sixes the bagel and grabs a donut.*

bagel by Gulstab August 8, 2009

Bagel 

Bagel Girl. A girl with a youthful face but a mature and curvaceous body.

Baby girl’s a bagel with her glamour body baby face.

Bagel by Jinxii March 14, 2011

Bagel 

A woman with an extremely worn, stretched out vagina.

Ari's mom is such a bagel.

Bagel by Pete Best October 10, 2005

bagel 

Someone who is extremely cheap.

(Comes from the generic Jew characteristic of frugal, and the fact that all Jews love bagels)

Dude, don't be a bagel, I need the money for my enema!

bagel by CamBam! November 20, 2004

bagel 

an inflamed anal scphinter muscle

that guy jus ass fucked me rough, now ive got a bagel

bagel by AssMonger October 11, 2007