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The Prophet of Deception

*Also known in other circles as Archbishop Charles Montgomery, Mr. Leon Weston, Dr. Jack, Godfather, Salvatore Ringo, Gerard Salazar, Freddy Incognito, and Lord of the Cynics.*

The Prophet of Deception is a man of many tastes, ranging from fine wines to mahogany commode and golden Montblanc fountain pens. Through his unsurpassable charisma and zealous devotion to none other than himself, he has forged a legacy of scams and backstabbings so great, the Pope himself would shit 15 times in The Prophet's presence. A skeptical agnostic, he views himself as a living god, higher than all other life, and yet while his financial assets are that of kings and lords, his romance life is that of a retarded goldfish with the AIDS, translation, he doesnt stand a fucking chance with a woman due to his off-the-chart smugness and arrogance.

He has a complex history filled with drama and woe, lovers few and far in between. It was during his height as Heierarch of the Band Council that he met his first love, who fucked him over and left him to die. He then reestablished himself as a god, current head of the Red Letter Forum, but love would once again come to his doorstep in the form of a promising young English Intern turned full time anchorwoman sex bombshell.

He currently resides in a palace of misery, slowly drowning in his own narcissicm, but remains hopeful that one day, he will rule EVERYTHING.

We can only pray that he does.
Pope: "My god, I just shit 15 times!"

Prophet of Deception: "Dont worry, that happens alot." *hands him a towel*

Conny: "Yeah, he's a freaking god! Hail the Prophet of Deception and all his witty remarks!"

Prophet of Deception: "Let's all go back to my place for fine wines and wild sex on mahogany tables carved out of marble draped in velvet and golden diamonds!"
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Get the Black and Decker 

1.When an unorthodox solution is needed to fix a problem. Comes from amazing lateral thinking by an Australian Country doctor who relieved pressure on a boys brain through the use of a power drill.

2. An odd demand that results in miraculous outcomes. Mcgyver-esque.
1.James- "Crap, theres no tissues left. Quick! Get the Black and Decker!""

2. Alice needed to change a tyre with only an empty tin of beans and a stocking. She definately got the Black and Decker

the third of december 

Give someone your sweater (heather by conan gray)
I still remember, the third of december, me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you

Why did you change the date to December 27, 2022? 

UD Jews, I’m talking to you

On my “Ball of Confusion” definition, there is a weird date: December 27, 2022.

I’m assuming you guys must have changed it to this.

Is something supposed to happen on this day?

Why does the author describe how she counted the rows of deck lights when she was in the lifeboa 

e3iuhd8y9dycb3e xywg zuhuhwosh 0wunxuhxuniox whxuowixhoi
Why does the author describe how she counted the rows of deck lights when she was in the lifeboa

The 3rd of december 

Sweater day!!!
On the 3rd of december everyone will sing "Heather" by Conan Gray

"I still remember the 3rd of december me in your sweater"
Guy 1- "Its the 3rd of december"
Guy 2- "oh yeh everyone needs to sing "Heather"

Guy 3- "how could I forget"
The 3rd of december by ....hii December 2, 2020

the ninth of december 

The day some really sexy, smart, and buff dudes were born. People born on this day have massive cocks and can steal peoples parents easily(not just moms).
Holy shit its the ninth of december , gotta suck that guy off i guess. He can leg press both of my parents omg im so wet rn.