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Verbose Retardation

n. The case in which you are not aware of what the fuck is happening due to people using too big of words.
I experienced a total case of verbose retardation during that college lecture

Seasonal Retardation 

Like Seasonal Derpression expect rather than being depressed, the subject becomes irrationally stupid instead, during winter months of the year.
Joe: *Wearing Glasses* “I decided to wear my contacts today”
Bob: “I Guess it’s that time of year again, Joe has Seasonal Retardation.”

internet retardation

A person who has no idea of how to conduct themselves online by saying and doing things that would not be socially acceptable in real life.

Generally the actions of this person have no reflection of how they actually are.
Boy: OMG im lyk so c00l. Haunted house wif ma homes!!!111!one
Girl: I'm going too! See you there.
Boy: YESHHH! LETZ HAV S3X.
Girl: Do you have internet retardation?

Compound Retardation 

The act of doing something stupid, followed by another unitentional yet equally stupid action
S: Remember when K slipped in his own vomit and broke his arm?

M: Yeah, thats some serious compound retardation
Compound Retardation by MER8490 August 1, 2008

Mental retardation

Someone mentally stupid.

Goofy Retardation 

The process by which someone that does actually posess some common sense, will look for the most ludracrous way to circumvent a problem/issue with a twisted sense of logic.
Goofy Retardation Example: Using gasoline to unclog a clogged drain, instead of a product like Draino, since its a harsh chemical, it must be good the the pipes. Another Example: Mayonnaise used as a protectant on a rod iron fence instead of car wax of some other protectant designed for said purpose.