the Jareds 

Explosive diarrhea.

I would go to the movies with you, but I have had the Jareds all day.

the Jareds by Zuggalo September 29, 2011

The Jared Allen 

Hog tie a girl and put her at the end of a slippery hallway. With an erect penis, run towards her and slide in on your knees so that your dick is jammed into her vagina.

Pablo: "What happened to you?"
Santiago: "I tried The Jared Allen on my girlfriend and missed...."

The Jared Allen by TheInvertedNipples September 11, 2011

The Jared Cipak 

A mosh move, usually starting with 2 or 3 2-Steps followed by a back/front flip. You do this repeatedly until your heart stops.

To do the jared cipak, takes much skill and ear streching, some will never master it, as hard as they may try.

The Jared Cipak by moshandroll01 January 31, 2007

doin the jared 

the act of sticking your dick inside a subway sandwhich and then fucking your girl anal position until the mayo mix leaks out.

oh yeah just went to subway bout to do "doin the jared" to my girl.

doin the jared by mcfunny names November 12, 2010

The Jared 

The Sexiest man alive!! hes so hot, when i see him i cant keep my hands off him. In his spare time he likes to jack off.

I love you Jared! Come and find me!!

The Jared by someone you know March 15, 2005

The Jared Stetson 

The Jared Stetson. The man, the myth, the legend. Undeniably one of the top 5 best looking men on the face of the planet. He has become such a revolutionary and pivotal influence that his quintessential being shall deicde the fate of mankind itself.

If God had a body, that body would loook like The Jared Stetson.

The Jared Stetson by Godgivengoodlooks June 29, 2008

jared the subway guy 

A total dirtbag who was a child molester and acted in the movie sharknado

A famous actor and sandwich maker turned rapist is jared the subway guy

jared the subway guy by HunterTheDude November 3, 2017