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masturbatastic 

A motion, action, or movement containing qualities or similarities to the act of masturbation or otherwise masturbative properties.
1. He moved his hand up and down rapidly in a masturbatastic motion.
2. She wiggled her fingers masturbatastically at me.
masturbatastic by Matt Rock May 6, 2005

masturbatastrophe 

When the act of pleasuring one's self goes utterly wrong.
MARK: "I don't think I'll ever be able to face my family again"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"
masturbatastrophe by Chud Brunner October 30, 2011

masturbastical

Having almost as much fun and exicitement as you get when masturbating
hey baby, last night, watching that movie with you was masturbastical