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Spoon Me 

A more "appropriate" way of saying "fuck me"
Jan: Let's go shopping today!
John mumbling: Spoon me.
Spoon Me by Port5 October 30, 2009

There's me spoon 

Interchangeable with "pardon me"

If your stomach makes a particularly loud grumble, or a little air slips accidentally from either passage (front or back) you can acknowledge its passing politely with this little interjection to make it known it was not purposeful.
Usually accompanied with a look of shock from the perpetrator.
*Tummy grumble* "Oop, there's me spoon"
There's me spoon by Nothatoriginal October 31, 2011

Gag me with a spoon and call me Criss Angel! 

Person 1: Did you know that dogs can't look up?
Person 2: Well gag me with a spoon and call me Criss Angel! I didn't know that!

Kill Me With a Spoon 

A phrase used to indicate a desperate attempt to suicide, meaning you'd be willing to kill yourself with anything, including a spoon which, by the way, is probably the most non-lethal item known to mankind.
dude 1: hey didja parents see your report card?
dude 2: omg kill me with a spoon.

gag me with a spoon 

Exclamation that describes displeasure on the part of the speaker due to something being distasteful or otherwise sickening or displeasurable. From valspeak, so somewhat archaic. Usage these days is considered silly.
Oh, gag me with a spoon! Look at the zits all over that nerd's face!
gag me with a spoon by Dennis October 10, 2003

Gag me with a spoon 

a phrase used to describe how unpleasant a situation may be
Hey jess, remember when you dated Evans?

Yeah, gag me with a spoon.