Sea Bear 

A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.

Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)

Sea Bear by Intelligence001 February 6, 2017

Sea Bear 

A vicious creature that attacks under sea campers. A sea Bear is drawn to many things, which include wearing a sunbrarow in a funny way, eating cubed cheese, playing the clarinet badly, and dancing badly. The only known defense to a Sea Bear attack is a Sea Bear circle. NOT AN OVAL! don't run, walk limp, or skip away, or it will charge.

I was attacked by a massive Sea Bear because I play clarinet badly.

Sea Bear by Shankomatic June 28, 2009

Sea Bear 

The Sea Bear is a cold blooded mammal that lives in the ocean and is a fearsome warrior in the depths. Originally evolving from the Megalodon, the Sea Bear is widely known to eat Sperm Whale, Swallows, and the occasional other Sea Bears off of Naval Bases. It is especially fond of eating seamen off of its poopdeck. The Sea Bear, also known in its Greek name as θάλασσα αρκούδα, tends to reside on Sand Bars, where other Sea Bears frolic on the low depths of the Sandbar. The Seabear has very few mortal enemies, as it is known as a fearsome predator of the ocean blue. It is known to have several enemies, such as Swallows and Cayla Plot, however, it usually is able to fend off them with its very large claws and penis.

I am freaking sick of seeing Sea Bears by Oak Hill Beach.

Sea Bear by seabearlover August 1, 2009

sea bear 

an aggressive species of bear that only lives in the ocean. it only becomes aggressive if a bad clearenet is played, but fear not because there is a method of defending yourself from a sea bear. just draw a semi perfect circle around you.

watch out its a sea bear

sea bear by XxX_ad0lf_h1tl3r_XxX August 31, 2017

sea bear 

Aquatic mammal that is attracted to women on the rag that choose to swim in the ocean. Deadlier than sharks and more persistants than horny frat boys. Try not to be in the water around ladies on the flow.

Vacation was great until Celeste got attacked by that sea bear. Thats what she gets for swimming on the rag. stupid bitch.

sea bear by arkansas85 July 22, 2006

sea bear circle 

The only known and reliable defense mechanism during a viscous sea-bear attack. However, this circle must be a perfect circle grown in the sand. Once the circle is finished, stand inside it and don't move!

If it wasn't for that sea bear circle, I would have been dead right now!

sea bear circle by ShineeGoof June 22, 2015

Beare's Law of Accelerating Catastrophe at Sea - BLAC 

At sea a problem can accelerate into a crisis at a rate proportional to the conditions

An example of Beare's Law of Accelerating Catastrophe at Sea - BLAC.

Imagine you are at sea and sailing along nicely a few miles off the coast of Corsica. You have the Genoa poled out and are running downwind. You are single handed. You pop down below to make yourself a cup of tea. Everything is fine. All of a sudden the wind shifts and you gybe. The pole slams across the forestay bent; the genoa is backed and the pole is trapped under the sail. As the boat lurches you are scolded with coffee. You rush on deck to sea the wind picking up and the boat floundering.

You are confident you will soon bring things under control. However, the wind is gusting alarmingly. A squawl from the hills. You cannot get the whisker pole off to furl the sail. You look up and in horror you see a ship coming at you dead ahead. The wind gusts and the boat is knocked down. You slip and land hard on deck bruising your arm.

And so it accumulates as you experience Beare's Law of Accelerating Catastrophe at Sea - BLAC.

Beare's Law of Accelerating Catastrophe at Sea - BLAC by Angus Beare December 15, 2008