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Not a joke. On my word as a Biden 

Mocking locution combining two of Joe Biden's favorite rhetorical expressions
Usually uttered immediately after the telling of an obvious falsehood
Back in the 90's I had sex one night with the entire cast of the "Seinfeld" show. Including Kramer
Not a joke. On my word as a Biden

i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me

I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.
Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?

Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.

Isaiah: ...
Me: ...
Isaiah: yeah, same.

i said a joke not a poem 

A phrase used by youtuber Jacksucksatlife when trolling a hacker on Play.Skycade.net and she wrote him a BLOODY POEM when he said he wanted a JOKE.
'Roses are red
Coal is black
Skycade is fun
I hope this is jack'
That was incredible jocie! But guess what.
I said a joke.
I didnt say a poem josie
I SAID A BLOODY JOKE, I DIDNT SAY A POEM
Where is the punchline, how is that a punchline 'skycade is fun' thats not a joke josie i said a joke not a poem josie I SAID A JOKE NOT A POEM

It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard 

something said when someone takes the joke too seriously or personally and they need a reminder of what they're mad about. knocks the sense back into someone real quick.
Samuel: It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard
Emanuel: I wish it was...
Samuel: what.
Emanuel: what.

it's a joke not a dick don't take it too hard

thing to say when someone bitches about a biology joke
z3ma b9a lih i3raf ghi les gènes dialo, it's a joke not a dick don't take it too hard

I said a joke not a poem 

I said a joke not a poem is a popular frase from Jacksucksatlife.He asked the person to say a joke but they said a poem and he said that.
Jack:Say a joke.
Person:Roses are red ,violents are blue , i love your vids, pls dont ban me.
Jack:I SAID A JOKE NOT A POEM!!!!