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humping the stat monkey 

A business practice or action solely done for the purpose of appearances statistically and appeasing management.
Categorizing completely unstarted, undone work as "in progress" or "under investigation" is humping the stat monkey.

After that move we're balls deep in the stat monkey.

The Emotional Leg-Humping Monkey Named Klaus 

Woo-Woo's pet monkey. Klaus loves to hump people's legs. He is also very sensitive and will start crying if you even breathe funny. Gill likes to pick bugs from his fur and shove them in his poopchute.