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carpenter 

A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.
Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.
carpenter by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006
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carpenter 

Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!
carpenter by dudebrochillz May 21, 2011

Carpenter 

A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.
Carpenter by Stacy the Face February 28, 2011

Carpenter 

A carpenter is a legit, badass, problem solving, beer drinking, tang slaying, beast of a man!
Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you shoulda got you a carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this electrician!
Carpenter by Bwahaha26 June 12, 2018

Carpenter 

A chick who is an expert at nailing wood. In other words, a prostitute.
I was just looking for some local "carpenters" online.
Carpenter by Wallydon February 1, 2010

carpenter 

the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.
"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"
carpenter by stoak May 8, 2010

Carpenter 

The name given to fans of Sabrina Carpenter, who is an actress, model, and singer
Person 1: Paris by Sabrina Carpenter is such a good song!
Person 2: You like Sabrina? I didn’t know you were a Carpenter!
Carpenter by CleanPlantMemes November 13, 2018