uncle fuckbucket's definitions

gringotomy

a surgical procedure to remove any aspect of an individual's personality that reflects that they are a gringo

"John, you'll need to head to Medellin to review the company's financial operations down there."
"Sounds good. I should probably see the company's travel doctor."
"Correct. I don't know exactly what vaccinations they'll recommend, but I do remember they've recommended a gringotomy for employees like you."

by uncle fuckbucket May 8, 2025

Luana

Crazy hot Brazilian woman who steals your heart, tells you they want to have a baby with you, but also likes to drink and drive.

I had to get rid of Luana. She would have destroyed my family.

by uncle fuckbucket March 10, 2025

mulletocracy

a system of political organization and governmental rule in which the possession and maintenance of superior mullets takes precedent over other parameters; ascendancy of particular political leaders is determined solely based on mullet; it should be noted that while the quality of a mullet is what determines an individual's standing in political rank and hierarchy, the question of mullet "quality" is a dubious one and constitutes a matter of great subjectivity and lively debate.

oh what a fool I was to believe in the myth of mulletocracy.

you think hard work and diligence is all it takes? you're wrong: we live in a mulletocracy.

the mallet or the mullet? an age old question about the right path to political progress.

We here at the Arkansas Department of State advocate a policy of regime change in the State of New York and strongly promote its residents to adopt our time-honored mulletocratic values and institutions.

by uncle fuckbucket May 14, 2024

hotbox

an application that allows you to remotely share marijuana regardless of what device you're in front of or your physical location; the application is infinitely superior to its predecessor, WeedTransfer

Iowa fucking sux. When will prohibition end?
Chill: I hotbox you...
@) thank you!

by uncle fuckbucket January 16, 2024

Mike Johnson

a generic term for a white man with proto-fascist beliefs and nostalgia for the Antebellum America; the last hope for a Republican party that can be united by nothing other than white nationalism

fuck we still don't have a Speaker of the House.
chill bro they'll just elect a Mike Johnson
wait *which* Mike Johnson, my dude?
that's the beauty of it: any Mike Johnson will do

by uncle fuckbucket October 25, 2023

public library

a large building near a city's downtown filled with books, children, and sleeping homeless people

"hey brother can you spare a dime?"
"shut up and go to the public library!"

"shit! i really need some books, homeless people, and children."
"dude, have you heard of the public library?"

by uncle fuckbucket March 6, 2023

business casualty

the Death of the Soul due to prolonged and continuous donning of Business Casual attire

the loss of Personality as a result of ritualistic daily preference for Soft Silky Slacks with Dresséd Shirts

Here lies Mark Connors (1994–2016), who previously lived a life full of Joy, Normalcy, and Fat, but died of the Death, due to the Business; a Business Casualty as it were

"Sources estimate business casualties in the thousands, with many families soon to be destitute as a result of Presses Shirts and Pleats."

by uncle fuckbucket September 18, 2022