uncle fuckbucket's definitions

graduate school

What you say you did with your 20's/30's when you didn't do anything important or remotely useful but you have to explain now because someone asked

Lobocuda: "Man didn't someone tell me you were in prison back then?"

Tacobooco: "Nope...was in graduate school back then."

Lobocuda: "Ah ok, that's why I simultaneously remember you smelling horrible then but also that I never saw you...strange..."

by uncle fuckbucket October 23, 2018

Luana

Crazy hot Brazilian woman who steals your heart, tells you they want to have a baby with you, but also likes to drink and drive.

I had to get rid of Luana. She would have destroyed my family.

by uncle fuckbucket March 10, 2025

professor beep

The most wonderful woman in the whoooooooooole world, she says "beep - beep - beep - beep" and then closes Skype when you are halfway around the world and does it in the cutest possible way that makes it less sad to say goodbye for the day!

Jort: "Alright! Time for Professor Beep to say goodbye."
Flort: "Ok {mwah}"
Jort: "beep - beep - beep - beep - beep!"

by uncle fuckbucket October 23, 2018

business casualty

the Death of the Soul due to prolonged and continuous donning of Business Casual attire

the loss of Personality as a result of ritualistic daily preference for Soft Silky Slacks with Dresséd Shirts

Here lies Mark Connors (1994–2016), who previously lived a life full of Joy, Normalcy, and Fat, but died of the Death, due to the Business; a Business Casualty as it were

"Sources estimate business casualties in the thousands, with many families soon to be destitute as a result of Presses Shirts and Pleats."

by uncle fuckbucket September 18, 2022

mulletocracy

a system of political organization and governmental rule in which the possession and maintenance of superior mullets takes precedent over other parameters; ascendancy of particular political leaders is determined solely based on mullet; it should be noted that while the quality of a mullet is what determines an individual's standing in political rank and hierarchy, the question of mullet "quality" is a dubious one and constitutes a matter of great subjectivity and lively debate.

oh what a fool I was to believe in the myth of mulletocracy.

you think hard work and diligence is all it takes? you're wrong: we live in a mulletocracy.

the mallet or the mullet? an age old question about the right path to political progress.

We here at the Arkansas Department of State advocate a policy of regime change in the State of New York and strongly promote its residents to adopt our time-honored mulletocratic values and institutions.

by uncle fuckbucket May 14, 2024

hotbox

an application that allows you to remotely share marijuana regardless of what device you're in front of or your physical location; the application is infinitely superior to its predecessor, WeedTransfer

Iowa fucking sux. When will prohibition end?
Chill: I hotbox you...
@) thank you!

by uncle fuckbucket January 16, 2024

Mike Johnson

a generic term for a white man with proto-fascist beliefs and nostalgia for the Antebellum America; the last hope for a Republican party that can be united by nothing other than white nationalism

fuck we still don't have a Speaker of the House.
chill bro they'll just elect a Mike Johnson
wait *which* Mike Johnson, my dude?
that's the beauty of it: any Mike Johnson will do

by uncle fuckbucket October 25, 2023