pinching a biscuit

Pinching a biscuit is what happens when you go to the bathroom to take a huge dump, or " pinch a loaf ", but wind up being really costipated and only dropping a small turd.
I'm so fucking constipated. I spent 40 minutes pinching a loaf and wound up only pinching a biscuit.
by tonyfamous October 04, 2010
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fart a turd

Farting a turd is what happens when you hold your shit in too long and then try to relieve a little sphincter muscle pressure by farting.
Man I got to shit so bad, that If you don't get out of the fucking bathroom right now, I'm going to Fart a Turd!!! >_<
by tonyfamous October 18, 2010
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Working the clay

Working the clay: To engage in sexual foreplay, like in that scene with the Pottery Wheel that was in that movie Ghost. A shirtless Patrick Swayze came all up behind Demi Moore and started massaging a big phallic looking clump of clay, then sticking his fingers in her clay and then she got all hot and sexy and totally fucked up the vase she was working on and then they had really intensely passionate R-rated movie sex with fake multiple orgasms. Because of this movie scene enrollment in Pottery Making Classes went through the roof! :-D
Demi Moore is so old and decrepit now that Ashton Kutcher must have to spend at least an hour " working the clay " before even attempting to stick his dick in her sandbox and I'm sure as hell that he still would get a dry burn on his dick so bad that it would require multiple skin grafts!

Ashton: Hey Demi. Could you slap on a little more Geriatric K-Y please! I think there are sparks shooting off my dick!

Demi: Did you hear that cracking noise! I think you just broke my hip!!!
by tonyfamous June 23, 2011
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spank the kitty

For personal hygiene reasons, you should always wash your hands before you spank the kitty.
by tonyfamous October 04, 2010
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Pimple Popping

I asked the Doctor at the free Clinic what I can do to get rid of all the zits on my face and I told him it's got to be cheap because I can't afford no Lasers or Proactiv or even Clearasil. He told me pimple popping is free.
by tonyfamous February 03, 2014
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lady balls

Lady Balls are ovaries ya morons, cause ladies don't have testicles. That's why it don't hurt a lady when you kick her square between her legs like it would any uncastrated dude. But try kicking a lady in the ovaries and she'll be spitting out retard babies for the rest of her reproductive life.
I swear to God if that bitch packing my groceries threw that 5 pound bag of oranges on top of my organic eggs I'm going to jump the counter and judo chop her square in the Lady Balls! >_<
by tonyfamous February 25, 2011
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