Definitions by theWestHamfan

fart in a colander 

flitting , birdlike, from one thing to another, lacking focus, lacking concentration.

"stone me, denis.""since i made you player/manager you're running around like a fart in a colander"

fart in a colander by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

penis fly trap 

an ability to lie extemely still whilst stretching ones foreskin in the shape of a large bell. when, at last, a fly lands on the glans, the foreskin is released thus trapping the fly.

the whole team lay there resting whilst exhibiting their penis fly traps. unfortunately for alan he caught a wasp!

penis fly trap by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

penis pushups 

laying face down, to push up and lower one's body rythmically, using just the erect penis

the keeper, looking ashen faced, shouted "Trevor, forget those penis pushups, get out of that cage NOW, the gorilla's coming."

penis pushups by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

travellers 

pikeys, gypsies, a clever way of allowing hostelry owners etc. to hang racist signs without actually being racist.

"quick Alec" screamed his young friend. "get that 'NO TRAVELLERS' sign up, here come a load of gippoes."
gippo - "gravel yur droive zur?"
alec - "ckoff!"

travellers by theWestHamfan November 11, 2003

flied lice 

cheap and nasty fried rice

Ho says "my special flied lice, my very special flied lice and my very very extra special flied lice are all my much improved flied lice. Or there is just my flied lice."

flied lice by theWestHamfan November 10, 2003

flat back four 

to play soccer having the defence arranged with four players in a straight line

"get back in line Ferdinand" shouted Fergie. "we're playing a flat back four"

flat back four by theWestHamfan November 5, 2003

bunch of fives 

a punch in the face

he jus' went ON and ON extolling the virtues of a flat back four so Trevor gave him a bunch of fives

bunch of fives by theWestHamfan November 5, 2003