the coMANd'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat with anonymous tips

Hub: ah, total douche defined...

by the comand'r November 16, 2023

brush

Similar to "brunch", but what you do in New Orleans. A combination between breakfast and lush, aka lunch drinking = brush

Barney: just making sure you know we have brushes and dinners lined up for the Jazzfest week in New Orleans

Billy: what about combs?

Barney: they use picks down here. Brushes are what New Orleanians do in the morning to start the day - eat and get yur drink on. The best places serve you in a stay-cup.

by the comand'r April 28, 2022

taking a taser to a bomb site

Similar to taking a knife to a gun fight, but typically executed by a totally paranoid, uninformed idiot. Frankly, anyone with a brain would not take a knife to a gun fight; they just would not go to a gunfight.

Woody: where’s Herb?
Spencer: he got detained at security

Woody: detained at a Chargers game? Was he busted for smuggling booze?
Spencer: no, my dad is concerned about terrorists blowing up big crowds, so he always packs a taser that he bought off QVC
Woody: ah, taking a taser to a bomb site. What an idiot.

by the comand'r February 23, 2018

masktake

A mistake when wearing a mask. Typically associated with consuming alcohol.

Amie felt like such a fool when she caught herself sucking down her 3rd margarita when her mask was still up. She was just being Covidvgilent by pulling her mask up in between sips like she has been conditioned to do - masktake... Although she kept drinking. Drew poured her a stay-cup

by the comand'r February 14, 2022

squirt dirt

Diarrhea, same as blast mud, though typically a bit more dry.

Jimmy: Gru, that Thai food is hitting me - I gotta use your crapper.

Gru: Man, iff you gotta squirt dirt, use the downstair bathroom - more tp than in the upstairs shitter.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016

no pants month

April 2020: COVID-19 Shelter In Place. Nuff said.

Ted: Yo, how is your work from home policy working for you?

Chris: No Pants Month. Digging it. Avoiding the boomer remover and the wife is staying COVIDgilent. Molly and I may actually work on some corona boomers. Wish me luck.

by the comand'r March 21, 2020

betraydar

The ability to identify people who suck; people who will betray you

Brett: Dude, your brother totally screwed you. How’d you know that was coming. You’ve been telling me for years the guy’s is a dousche

Barney: I got betraydar. Saw it coming the day I met him. He’s my brother. You should have known as well - he was your neighbor growing up.

by the comand'r November 10, 2021