12 definitions by t pot

Greenwich Constitutional

Pretending to leave for work in the morning, only to return home after your partner has left for their job, in order to have an extramarital affair.

I was pulling a Greenwich Constitutional when I heard the front door open. It was only the maid arriving late that day. I was terrified it was my wife about to walk in on me and the pool boy.

Tiffany and I had a nice Greenwich Constitutional situation going until her husband got indicted for insider trading and was sentenced to house arrest.

by t pot February 6, 2019

North Dakota Root Canal

Performing oral sex for so long that parts of your face go numb.

I was going down on Bill for what seemed like hours and I got a North Dakota root canal.

by t pot February 6, 2019

Badger Spotting

Frequenting parks, commons or other public grounds at night for the explicit purpose of picking-up homosexual men in order to have sex with them.

The conservative MP from Dorset was found badger spotting in Clapham Common last week. I guess his wife wasn’t aware of his affinity for nature.

by t pot October 6, 2009

daddy likes instagram

When a dad (your or someone else's) makes an awkward comment on a picture shared through social media.

T: Greg's dad commented on Facebook "wish I was there" on the vacation photo of my wife in a bikini.
J: I saw, dude, he went all Daddy likes Instagram on your photo.

by t pot October 21, 2014

Smartphone Swirly

When you drop your phone in the toilet and the automatic flush activates before you can remove it.

Emily watched helplessly as her iPhone got a smartphone swirly in the office bathroom.

by t pot September 18, 2012