Tony: "Oh cheesus christ I keep forgetting to tie my nostril hairs up bvefore i take a sip of my coffee and now my nostril hairs have crusted up from the dried out milk"
Tony's 18th wife: "I admire how you can put up with something so disgustingly annoying like that. Have you tried one of those nostriliser machines before? I've heard they also improve genital hydration and appearance of size"
Tony: I'm going to the shop!
Tony's 18th wife: "I admire how you can put up with something so disgustingly annoying like that. Have you tried one of those nostriliser machines before? I've heard they also improve genital hydration and appearance of size"
Tony: I'm going to the shop!
by shredded toe nails August 02, 2023
Person 1: I'm waking up at 3:75pm tomorrow morning so that I can take the car for a walk. Would you like me to pick you up a nice hot iced coffee on my way home?
Person 2: Word' cum
Person 2: Word' cum
by shredded toe nails July 27, 2023
when you're feeling un inspired and un motivated and you're seeking a certain level of dopamine to spark your motivation at the same time as feeling inspired
I really needed to poop but I didn't want to walk to the toilet, so I started flicking through the tv for some inspovation and saw an advertisement for free public transport today and in my excitement for catching public transport I caught the bus down to the train station and pooped in the station toilet. I'm so glad that I found some inspovation to poop
by shredded toe nails July 31, 2023
Person 37: Bye mate, did you listen to that new song that I didn’t send you?
Person 26: no it’s so good, headphones weren’t enough so I had to put the song up my arse and now I’m hearing stars!
Person 37: oh wow really appreciate the honesty. Hey do you reckon you could send me a quick video of the stars in your ears?
Person 26: nah of course not, let me know what you think?
Person 37: I’m not listening to it now, it’s very srats gniees!
Person 26: oh wow really appreciate the honesty, hey do you reckon I could send you a quick picture of my ears, I’m thinking of getting metal legs!
Person 37: Oh wow really appreciate the photograph, but I think I’m going to have to pass, looks like it might rain later on so I might have to bump up the fuel prices.
Person 26: yeah all worries no good, I’ve got a load of washing on in the microwave anyway so hope you have a subpar day 💕💕
Person 37: oh wow really appreciate the thoughtfulness hope you also have a lovely subpar 24 hours to come.
Person 26: word’ cum!
Person 26: no it’s so good, headphones weren’t enough so I had to put the song up my arse and now I’m hearing stars!
Person 37: oh wow really appreciate the honesty. Hey do you reckon you could send me a quick video of the stars in your ears?
Person 26: nah of course not, let me know what you think?
Person 37: I’m not listening to it now, it’s very srats gniees!
Person 26: oh wow really appreciate the honesty, hey do you reckon I could send you a quick picture of my ears, I’m thinking of getting metal legs!
Person 37: Oh wow really appreciate the photograph, but I think I’m going to have to pass, looks like it might rain later on so I might have to bump up the fuel prices.
Person 26: yeah all worries no good, I’ve got a load of washing on in the microwave anyway so hope you have a subpar day 💕💕
Person 37: oh wow really appreciate the thoughtfulness hope you also have a lovely subpar 24 hours to come.
Person 26: word’ cum!
by shredded toe nails January 02, 2024
Person one:
Wow you have so many pairs of nail clippers in your refrigerator
Person two:
Correct! I have begun stringvesting in niche personal hygiene equipment such as nail clippers and nostriliser's
Wow you have so many pairs of nail clippers in your refrigerator
Person two:
Correct! I have begun stringvesting in niche personal hygiene equipment such as nail clippers and nostriliser's
by shredded toe nails August 02, 2023
When a human gets bitten by a spider and attains partial spider like traits such as the ability to climb walls spin and shoot spider web. Seek medical attention immediately if you notice any web type substance shooting or leaking out of you wrists next time you give the double horns. This is especially important if this is not usually normal for you or if you were not originally born a spider.
Husband .05:
Honey, since that spider bit me I've noticed that I've been turning into niderspan! watch this, GO WEB GO!
Wife 2.5:
Aw no! Im not here to fuck spiders, let me call you an ambulance brigade as soon as I can be bothered
Husband 3:
Well hold up id suck .05's toes can we just call them tomorrow?
Husband .05:
NIDERSPAN, NIDERSPAN, DOES WHAT EVER A NIDERSPAN CAN! WANT TO SUCK ON MY TOES? HUSBAND COME AND SUCK ON A MY TOES
Husband 3:
Word' Cum
Husband .05:
TOMATOES <3
Honey, since that spider bit me I've noticed that I've been turning into niderspan! watch this, GO WEB GO!
Wife 2.5:
Aw no! Im not here to fuck spiders, let me call you an ambulance brigade as soon as I can be bothered
Husband 3:
Well hold up id suck .05's toes can we just call them tomorrow?
Husband .05:
NIDERSPAN, NIDERSPAN, DOES WHAT EVER A NIDERSPAN CAN! WANT TO SUCK ON MY TOES? HUSBAND COME AND SUCK ON A MY TOES
Husband 3:
Word' Cum
Husband .05:
TOMATOES <3
by shredded toe nails August 10, 2023
Ultimately feeling what you are listening to for example you listen to music but you feel it so hard that you're more actively in the experience of feeling what that music is and the way that the music is played rather than just sound.
by shredded toe nails August 03, 2023