Definitions by pizzaf

unapology 

a public statement from someone who is clearly guilty that kinda sounds like an apology, but if you look at the content, it's not an apology at all, and often includes direct or indirect denial of guilt and/or a contrary explanation of what really happened.

Politician's unapology after a corruption conviction, "I don't believe in my heart that I did anything wrong, but for the disgrace that my inadvertent actions have brought on this office, I am deeply sorry."

unapology by pizzaf December 8, 2012

straight dope 

the plain, unvarnished truth, especially something that's hard to hear

A: What do you think of my girlfriend?
B: She's OK.
A: No, the straight dope.
B: The straight dope? OK. She's a conniving bitch who's using you for your car and to get back at her ex.

straight dope by pizzaf January 10, 2011

funky chicken 

the dance people do when they really really have to go to the bathroom, but are forced to hold it

I knew Mike was doing the funky chicken outside the bathroom door, so I took extra long washing and drying my hands, hoping he'd piss himself.

funky chicken by pizzaf January 17, 2009

magical mystery tour

Taking a trip to an unknown destination by taking some public form of transit, chosen at random, usually a local bus. Some people do this to get to know a new city. Others do it for the fun factor, and potential for a good story later.

For my last holiday, I did a magical mystery tour and ended up in Thunder Bay.

magical mystery tour by Pizzaf December 19, 2008

vacuum 

In player parlance, it's a pushy technique used in making conversation with women where you ask an open-ended question and stubbornly wait for an answer. You don't say anything until she does, no matter what. You don't fidget, you don't laugh, you don't look apologetic or at all uncomfortable. Eventually, she will get uncomfortable with the vacuum, and fill it by answering your question, getting herself involved in the conversation.

(You're talking some woman up, and the convo runs a bit dry, so you turn on the vacuum:)
You: "Tell me about the best photograph you've ever seen."
Her: Huh?
You: ...
Her: ... (fidgeting)
You: ...
Her: Well, I saw one in a magazine once.
You: ... (cock an eyebrow)
Her: Well, I was flying home from Singapore and there was an article about Cambodia, and I was kinda bored, but then I turned to the second page and there was this woman staring back at me with the most incredible eyes, I had to stop myself from crying...

vacuum by pizzaf November 11, 2008

vacuum 

In player parlance, it's a pushy technique used in making conversation with women where you ask an open-ended question and stubbornly wait for an answer. You don't say anything until she does, no matter what. You don't fidget, you don't laugh, you don't look apologetic or at all uncomfortable. Eventually, she will get uncomfortable with the vacuum, and fill it by answering your question, getting herself involved in the conversation.

(You're talking some woman up, and the convo runs a bit dry, so you turn on the vacuum:)
You: "Tell me about the best photograph you've ever seen."
Her: Huh?
You: ...
Her: ... (fidgeting)
You: ...
Her: Well, I saw one in a magazine once.
You: ... (cock an eyebrow)
Her: Well, I was flying home from Singapore and there was an article about Cambodia, and I was kinda bored, but then I turned to the second page and there was this woman staring back at me with the most incredible eyes, I had to stop myself from crying...

vacuum by pizzaf November 10, 2008