paul fleming's definitions

Website Junkie

These individuals are addicted to websites. This condition often stems from the lack of a role model as a child, but can be blamed on anything from boredom, to an obsession with a particular field. The subject often visits the same sites over and over in the hope finding something new, much like a dog keeps checking his food bowl incase more food has been left for him. Normally reside in the North East of Scotland.

Kellie: Whats wrong with Simon these days? I called him last night and he said he was online and just hung up on me. It was really rude of him.
Steven: Don't take it personally, I was talking to his Mum and she said the phsychiatrist diagnosed him as a "Website Junkie". He just can't keep away from the internet.
Kellie: Oh, I thought he was just fucking rude.

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006

boomerang whore

These girls are native to, but not exclusive to small towns in the Eastern Counties of England. As with any whore, they are willing to give up sex at anytime, but a boomerang whore will let her partner have sex with her, then her sister, then her best friend, then her mother, and then she will let you come back to her and have sex once again. Just like a boomerang, she will keep coming back to you, regardless of how you treat her.

Liz: Why do you let Brian come back and have sex with you, he fucked your mum, your sister, and even though i'm your best friend, he fucked me! He thinks he can get away with it because he says you are a "boomerang whore".
Jannine: Yeah, I know, I just love him so much.
Liz: You make me sick.

by Paul Fleming July 9, 2006

Slut Discount

This is the discount available as a reward for staying faithful to a prostitute. If you frequently visit the same whore, you might be offered a "slut discount" for your loyalty. Very rare, but from time to time it does happen.

Simon: I've been seeing the same prostitute for about 3 months now and last night she said that because I was a regular client, and loyal, I deserved a "slut discount". I now only have to pay £20 for the full works, it used to be £30.
Lee: Thats brilliant, what are you going to do with the money you save?
Simon. Well, its my wife's birthday soon, so I might take her out for a nice meal.
Lee: Your such a romantic, she is lucky to have you.
Simon: Yeah, I know.

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Trampoline Whore

These girls are very, very rare. They will ride on top of their partner for extended periods of time, and will only stop when the male gives her permission to stop. Ironically the word tramp is used in the description of the word.
Normally found on the South coast of England.

William: It was my lucky night last night, I met a cracking blonde and it turned out she was a "Trampoline Whore"!
Gregg: You lucky Bastard, I thought those girls were just a myth, like the boomerang whore or the slut bunny.
William: Well I'm not a liar, she rode me all night and only stopped when I told her To make me a bacon butty.

by Paul Fleming July 10, 2006

Maregasm

This is a horses equivalent of a orgasm. In some hick towns in America where sleeping with animals is accepted, boasting in the bar about giving your horse a "Maregasm" is quite common and completely acceptable.

Cletis: I gone and got me a new horse called Betsie, She's a beauty, it took me a while but i gave her a "Maregasm" she aint never gonna forget!
John Boy: Way ta go Cletis, you a lucky man!

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Whore Reward

1. Most commonly these things are known as children.
2. After a whore has slept around, These parasites are developed inside a female slut for 9 months before being removed by a Whore Doctor.
3. The most hateful creatures on the planet.
4. An excuse for women not going to work, and an excuse for them to sit around the house all day doing nothing.

Carla: I don't know what to do with my life, I really want to earn a lot of money, but I really can't be bothered to get a job or do any work. What do you think I should do?
Jane: Are you serious? Why not go out and have sex with some guy and get yourself a "Whore Reward"? That will give you an excuse not to work, and you will get money thrown at you by the government, it's like the name says, you are being rewarded for being a whore.
Carla: Thats brilliant, it's almost as though the government understands that lazy woman need to be looked after just like all the other scum in society. Roll on child support cheques!

by Paul Fleming November 9, 2006

second hand dartboard

A phrase used in a describing a female that has had many sexual partners, and who is generally known as a whore.

"Look at that slut over there, she has had more pricks in her than a second hand dartboard."

by Paul Fleming July 8, 2006