normanstanleyfletcher's definitions

Porn Shorts

A man's shorts that are loose around the thighs which, whilst the wearer is seated in a legs-parted comfortable position, allow a half-scrotum to escape from the side into plain view of those directly opposite. These shorts are often old, well worn, piss-stained and grey in colour. The escape of the nut often happens at a meal-time and could be mistaken for a rogue scotch-egg - albeit a hairy one.

For fucks sake Dad... I have brought my new girlfriend around to meet the family and you have had to go and wear your Porn Shorts. She was just talking to Grandma and has been distracted by you left nut hanging like some sick Christmas tree decoration. Those shorts need burning before any more harm is done.

by normanstanleyfletcher August 4, 2025

Pissangulation

When attempting to urinate in the toilet pan, or urinal, the stream of one's piss breaks into two distinct sub-streams. The result of this phenomenon being that meaningful aim is rendered impossible - ultimately causing piss covered feet, yellow stained trousers or damp knees. The name is derived from the triangle formation of the streams - the angle of which, combined with the aimer's height results in a mathematical impossibility for accuracy.

Fuck, I've got an important presentation and pissangulation has caused me to wet my buff coloured strides and suede shoes - I look like an incontinent fool.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 18, 2015

Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.

I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025