Definitions by normanstanleyfletcher
Inappropriate Phonetics
The use of an alternative phonetic alphabet, by those not having a grasp of the correct substitutions, using inappropriate words. These words usually being rude, crass or parts of the anatomy. The best time one should opt to use Inappropriate Phonetics would be when communicating by poor phone connection to a faceless call centre.
Yes I confirm my forename is John, that is Jism-Orgasm-Horny-Nuts, and my surname is Smith, that is Scrotum-Muff-Idiot-Twat-Hard.... Oh, you say you don't appreciate my inappropriate phonetics - how about we revert to the english alphabet and you could listen more carefully...
Inappropriate Phonetics by normanstanleyfletcher June 8, 2015
Fired on bum castle
A short-burst fart that is so loud in it's escape that it sounds like the firing of a cannon or a similar piece of artillery. Multiples of this type of emission could be mistaken for a 21 gun salute.
Fired on bum castle by normanstanleyfletcher June 2, 2015
Pissangulation
When attempting to urinate in the toilet pan, or urinal, the stream of one's piss breaks into two distinct sub-streams. The result of this phenomenon being that meaningful aim is rendered impossible - ultimately causing piss covered feet, yellow stained trousers or damp knees. The name is derived from the triangle formation of the streams - the angle of which, combined with the aimer's height results in a mathematical impossibility for accuracy.
Fuck, I've got an important presentation and pissangulation has caused me to wet my buff coloured strides and suede shoes - I look like an incontinent fool.
Pissangulation by normanstanleyfletcher April 18, 2015