dress tims

a pair of timberland boots for 'formal' occasions, without a speck of dirt on them, while keeping another 'soiled' pair for the "construction site"
i put on my dress tims and me an' johnny d went to foolsley's

that bitch asked me to wear my dress tims!

i wear my dress tims to church
by michael foolsley February 12, 2010
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colt retirement

concept of 'taking oneself out' after about age 50+ -after the mind (& body) becomes 'enfeebled'.

(lots of valid evidence of aging "quality of life" may be found in any "nursing" facility)

in these days of people losing all their retirement money, even if you're still lucky enough to maintain your 'gear', how good can quality of life be when you're eating beans and gruel?

the women are a bit luckier too, most have little use for sex. the males, however aren't so lucky; we get to go to the bitter end, burning in hell for sex......-though it DOES taper off a bit!!

any gun manufacturer will work, ie: glock retirement, etc...
i'm planning a nice smith & wesson retirement!

he got worn out trying to smile, and opted for a colt retirement
by michael foolsley January 16, 2011
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beer ejack

when your beer suddenly decides to foam up and over the bottle top, -whether a fresh beer or not! (fresh having the most 'vigor'!)

-like the human version, one can never know EXACTLY at what moment this messy event is going to occur! if you're lucky, you can get your mouth over the bottle, before you get the 'pee'!! (-sometimes one can 'put this carbonation to work' (see action, my reaction!) for 'giggles'!)
eyeing beer suspiciously...one second! i think i'm in for a beer ejack!

my beer did a beer ejack, i had to hit the 'porcelain room' to

'mop up'!!

a salesman was in foolsley's selling beer ejack gloves!!
by michael foolsley February 26, 2010
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methane disciple

one who prays to/worships all that is the grand glory of farting!, the noise, the buttle massage, the smell, the reaction of the non-worshipper!! foods that promote gas!
john was in heaven! he had found a methane disciple who was female!

john was such a methane disciple he encouraged her to fart in his face!!
by michael foolsley December 10, 2009
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going bad

the body muscles atrophying and turning to fat
used in medicine re: patient status ie: hes' going bad
rotting milk, fruit, vegetables
cheryl once had a perky butt, but upon looking in a mirror; realized it was going bad!
by michael foolsley November 24, 2009
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cock sadness

the end of sex for the male, either the actual moment of ejaculation; or the 'last bit of lurching before launch'. -the awareness that several moments will have to pass (if you're lucky) before re-charge.
after all the labor invested in sex, cock sadness is a sad and inevitable truth.
by michael foolsley December 02, 2009
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get a new brain

dissatisfaction with ones' own, or anothers mental performance. -suggestion that in this time of 'transplants', one could procure a new 'mind' somewhere, and make out a bit better!
when i closed the patient up, i left a saw inside; i'm going to have to get a new brain, or lay off the PCP!!

-going to hit a yard sale and get me a new mind!

she needs to get a new brain!!

-this brain won't 'hop' when i bark orders, i need to get a new brain!
by michael foolsley February 06, 2010
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