Definitions by mark h
TOFU
Ghetto slang acronym for the following phrases:
1. To Fuck Up
2. Totally Fuck Up
3. Too Fucked Up(or Totally Fucked Up)
4. Too Old For You
1. To Fuck Up
2. Totally Fuck Up
3. Too Fucked Up(or Totally Fucked Up)
4. Too Old For You
1. Yo biatch, gimme back d'ose G to da Bizzears 'fore I'm going TOFU yo trick ass self!
2. Ayyo, tonite I'm gonna TOFU dat niggapotamus fo' tryin ta sleep wit ma girl!
3. *crying* My momma's bernie, yo. Breast cancer. This is just TOFU!
4.
High School Kid 1: Yo mah dogg, our new english teacher be so dayum hot, I wanna be a man and make da bitch moooaaaan!
High School Kid 2: Nawww G, she being about 30 and you 18 years old, dat woman be TOFU!
2. Ayyo, tonite I'm gonna TOFU dat niggapotamus fo' tryin ta sleep wit ma girl!
3. *crying* My momma's bernie, yo. Breast cancer. This is just TOFU!
4.
High School Kid 1: Yo mah dogg, our new english teacher be so dayum hot, I wanna be a man and make da bitch moooaaaan!
High School Kid 2: Nawww G, she being about 30 and you 18 years old, dat woman be TOFU!
roll the dice
To masturbate. The term is used particularly to refer to male masturbation(jacking off), since the action of pulling on and fondling one's own penis or testicles often looks like actually rolling a pair of dice.
I was rolling my dice at those tig ol bitties on that hot broad who was giving me a private lap dance.
roll the dice by Mark H September 6, 2004
J to da Bizzinks
Ghetto ebonics slang for Jar Jar Binks, the most virulently annoying and moronic sci-fi character to ever grace the big screen. Of course there are some people who think he was fucking hillarious though.
George Lucas is suddenly awakened and terrified when a large strong frightening-looking black man storms into his bedroom breaking his door down.
Large scary looking black man: Ayyo Gizzorge, ya bettah brizzing J to da Bizzinks back in Ep'sode 3 o' else I'm gonna slide up again on ya wit mah homeboys and rape yo wife and kizzids, jack yo money frum ya, bizzurn down Skywalker Ranch, and make you da loveslave of sum cheese hog granny fo the rest of yo life, BITCH!
George Lucas:(shivering in his pajamas) Ummm, ohhh kay, I-I'll bring him back.
Large scary looking black man: Ayyo Gizzorge, ya bettah brizzing J to da Bizzinks back in Ep'sode 3 o' else I'm gonna slide up again on ya wit mah homeboys and rape yo wife and kizzids, jack yo money frum ya, bizzurn down Skywalker Ranch, and make you da loveslave of sum cheese hog granny fo the rest of yo life, BITCH!
George Lucas:(shivering in his pajamas) Ummm, ohhh kay, I-I'll bring him back.
J to da Bizzinks by Mark H September 5, 2004
space suit
Slang term for a condom. Especially one that is meant to provide better protection using the latest advancements in medical technology. And of course this has nothing to do with the protective gear that astronauts wear while walking and performing tasks in space.
Doctor: Okay now Ron, I am going to have you volunteer you to try out the experimental Adonis 9000 Smart Condom. Created using the latest advancements in nanotechnology, the Adonis 9000 has built in nanofibers and nanowiring that are intended to actually provide more pleasure while offering more protection. It's also supposed to feel like a real skin penis and it also supposed to work like an extra foreskin.
Ron Jeremy: Umm, alright sure Doc I'll be happy to try it out. *feminine moaning in the background* Honey, just relax! I know how horny you are, but just hang on to your cheeseburger(vagina) while I put this space suit on!
Doctor: Thank you Ron! But remember to take it off before ejaculating!
Ron Jeremy: I will, Doc.
*moments later, Ron and his female sex partner have finished doing their thing and Ron goes back to the doctor to tell him the results*
Ron Jeremy: (holding up his experimental condom)Holy shit this baby does work! My orgasms and her orgasms are much more intense!
Doctor: I am proud of you Ron! And my invention!
Ron Jeremy: Umm, alright sure Doc I'll be happy to try it out. *feminine moaning in the background* Honey, just relax! I know how horny you are, but just hang on to your cheeseburger(vagina) while I put this space suit on!
Doctor: Thank you Ron! But remember to take it off before ejaculating!
Ron Jeremy: I will, Doc.
*moments later, Ron and his female sex partner have finished doing their thing and Ron goes back to the doctor to tell him the results*
Ron Jeremy: (holding up his experimental condom)Holy shit this baby does work! My orgasms and her orgasms are much more intense!
Doctor: I am proud of you Ron! And my invention!
space suit by Mark H September 5, 2004
alcoholocaust
What occurs at a drinking party when everyone drinks so fucking much that they all pass out and fall on the floor and/or on top of each other.
Last night's Roman orgy of a slumber party ended when everybody(guy and girl, clothed and naked) passed out on top of each other in a mass alcoholocaust.
Then the next morning when I woke up and while everybody was getting dressed and leaving, I found out that my face got all bloody when one of the cheese hog bitches fell on top of my face, breaking my nose!
Then the next morning when I woke up and while everybody was getting dressed and leaving, I found out that my face got all bloody when one of the cheese hog bitches fell on top of my face, breaking my nose!
alcoholocaust by Mark H September 4, 2004
hoepopotamus
One of the signs that indicate that the world's going to end soon, is waking up the next morning only to notice some ugly smothering hoepopotamus lying next to you like a beached whale and then being shocked to having realized that you've actually got her pregnant!
hoepopotamus by Mark H September 1, 2004
heaved hoe
A hoe that spends all day lying naked on her bed(or some other soft surface) masturbating and looking all used up, because of all the nymphomania she has gotten from fucking countless men throughout most of her life as a young woman.
The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.
The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.
Daaaayum, won't dat bitch get up, stop jillin off and do sumthin' productive? Fo sheezy, someone call a doctor to get dat heaved hoe on rehab!
heaved hoe by Mark H August 31, 2004