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marcus solomon 's definitions

emo sucks

"Emo sucks" is a statement of fact in the same sense as "oxygen is good for breathing." "Emo sucks" is now the modern version of "disco sucks," with the all-important distinction being that enjoying disco in the nostalgic, silly sense is fun, but emo will never be cool.
Teacher: "Class, can somebody give me an example of indisputable fact?"
Student: "Emo sucks!"
Teacher: "A Plus!"
by Marcus Solomon September 17, 2007
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emocaust

The final solution to the emo problem.

Emo is a false genre of music wherein its misled adherents believe they are part of a new subgenre of music, but in reality, emo is nothing more than melancholy pop music and/or homogenized bad metal with whiny/screaming vocals. The emos pride themselves on contrived negativity, false sense of insight and depth, and have adopted the standardized emo uniform in all its bland unoriginality (backward, angular mullet see:emotenuse, tight girls' jeans, tight T-shirts, Converse high-tops, and sullen expression).

The emocaust would solve the emo problem once and for all. All emo clones would be gathered into concentraton camps, and sent to "showers" of good music, which would reawaken the mind and return the emo zombie to a productive, self-determined future.
If I were president, I would build concentration camps for all the legions of emo clones, and then I would shower them with happiness and the emocaust would be complete!
by Marcus Solomon January 6, 2008
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Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.
Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.
by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008
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Dorrito damage

To wound one's mouth with the sharp and pointy parts of a Dorrito's chip or any other mouth-shredding brand of snack food.
OW! I just did some Dorrito damage to the roof of my mouth when the point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza burn blister I got last night!
by Marcus Solomon April 17, 2008
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emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.
I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.
by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008
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Metoo

An identical or nearly-identical tattoo that was chosen merely because the person saw it on someone else.
Did you see that emo kid's stars on his left wrist and the "cut here" on his right wrist? What a dummy to get a couple of metoos.
by Marcus Solomon October 14, 2008
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