marcus solomon 's definitions

emo bitch

1. A redundant term, being that "emo" and "bitch" mean exactly the same thing in this context. To be an emo bitch is simply to be like all other emo clones: contrived negative emotion, false sense of personal insight, strict adherence to emo fashion with all its bland unoriginality, and incredibly poor taste in shallow, melancholy pop music. All involved with the emo trend are emo bitches.

2. Any tantrum or self-pitying rant from an emo clone.

1. Sullen Sally and her boyfriend Morose Marvin are emo bitches.

2. That emo bitch got all worked-up and is now in the midst of an emo bitch rant; go get some tissues and bandages.

by Marcus Solomon December 2, 2007

Dorito Damage

To wound the inside of one's mouth with the sharp points of a Dorito's brand chip or any other brand of mouth-shredding snack food.

Ow! I just did some Dorito damage to the roof of my mouth when the sharp point of the chip stabbed directly into the pizza-blister burn I got last night.

by Marcus Solomon April 23, 2008

emopinion

Any predictably morose and/or ignorant opinion expressed by a victim of the emo trend. Most emopinions center on the subjects of false sense of persecution, "Why does everyone hate us?" attention-getting self debasement, "My life is so terrible!" and the mistaken belief that the emo trend is something unique and counterculture, "We are true rebels!" despite the fact that the emo look is entirely conformist and the whiny/tantrum rock they listen to is completely unoriginal and contrived.

I asked that kid with the emotenuse why he was part of such a stupid trend and all he did was spout bitchy, predictable emopinions.

by Marcus Solomon September 26, 2008

recockulous

A variation of the word "ridiculous," with the emphasis on the syllable making the "COCK" sound, meaning anything that is extremely stupid; ridiculous to the point of absurdity.

1. Did you see Vice President Dick Cheney sleeping through the official briefing about the California fires? That was absolutely reCOCKulous!

by Marcus Solomon November 25, 2007

emotard

A reference to all emo kids in general. Being that emo is a false genre compiled from bits of other (valid) musical subcultures into a uniquely bland, and unoriginal composite, emo is "retarded," the combination of "emo" and "retard" becomes the redundant, but accurate slur.

All those emo kids who think they are being original by looking like each other and pretending to be so emotionally deep are really self-deluded emotards.

by Marcus Solomon November 28, 2007

emo maiden

A term unique to only one person; the person who originally wrote the "emo maiden" definition. Apparently inspired by Iron Maiden's vocalist Bruce Dickinson's tendency to hold high notes in a manner that can be compared to prolonged whining.

I believe Iron Maiden started the emo trend and I call the band "Emo Maiden" because I have very little knowledge of music history.

by Marcus Solomon September 12, 2007

emo fan

Any easily-led trend-follower whom has joined the sad, contrived, and bland false-genre known as emo. Emo fans pride themselves on looking alike (tight girl's pants on males, black backward mullets, see: emotenuse, contrived negative emotion, Converse high-tops, and peer-encouraged homosexuality. Emo music completely disregards the fact that all music is emotional, and insists that "emotional" pertains only to negative emotions. Emo music is basically commercial pop music masquerading as alternative, which may or may not contain occasional temper-tantrum screaming see: screamo.

Emo fans are lemmings that have been led to the edge of conformity, where they throw themselves into the ocean of exaggerated tears.

by Marcus Solomon December 15, 2007