joseph blough's definitions

gasasstic flatulence

A fart that is so explosive and smelly that it literally shakes the foundation of a building.

“Man, Joe just blew gasasstic flatulence so power and loud that the entire floor moved. No air freshener could remove the stench.”

by joseph blough March 25, 2022

greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables

Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.

by joseph blough April 27, 2014

Fartronomy

The scientific study of flatulence. A PhD in fartronomy is an expert in expulsions from the ass.

Donald likes to stick his nose in people’s asses to measure the density of farts. He has a PhD from Harvard in Fartronomy.

by joseph blough April 12, 2022

Ossweepay

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”

Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”

by joseph blough February 3, 2023

Gastric Bypass

1) a bariatric surgery performed for rapid weight loss on severely obese people.

2) A bariatric surgical mishap where the surgeon mistakenly connects your esophagus to your ass and you end up shitting and farting out of your mouth.

Steve had gastric bypass surgery last year. He’s lost 200 pounds and looks great, except for the fact that he now has to stick his head in the toilet to poop.

by joseph blough July 6, 2023

EOTA

An acronym for "explosion of the ass". Simply put, it's when a volatile mix of food is consumed, resulting in a combination of explosive diarrhea and an extended loud and particularly smelly fart. Imagine eating a combination of hot wings, pizza and greasy cheeseburgers and the negative effects on the digestive tract. EOTAs can also result in the destruction of underwear, forcing one to go "commando" for the remainder of the day.

Jack went out with his buddies and treated himself to twenty sliders, onion rings and fries and frozen custard. Shortly thereafter he made a beeline to the toilet, where he had a nuclear EOTA that rendered the rest room uninhabitable for a week.

by joseph blough June 12, 2021

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022