joseph blough's definitions

transverse digestion

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.

Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”

by joseph blough April 8, 2022

ASSdfghjkl

When someone sits on a computer keyboard and takes a shit on it.

Ryan decided to play a sick joke on Sal by crapping all over his open laptop. Sal saw what Ryan did and said “thanks for the ASSdfghjkl! Now clean it up and get the fuck out of here!”

by joseph blough December 31, 2022

greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables

Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.

by joseph blough April 27, 2014

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

1) When you take a shit in a glass of soda pop.

2) An old Alka-Seltzer ad campaign.

Stan needed to take a crap badly, but there was no toilet nearby. He improvised with a bucket and 2-liter of Pepsi. He ended up with a Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.

by joseph blough February 25, 2022

Dubble Blubble

Bubble gum for your ass. Bubbles can be blown by sticking the gum up your ass and slowly farting, being careful not to let one rip too strongly. Popped dubble bubbles can be both sweet and smelly, with emphasis on the smelly.

Ernie purchased a Dubble Blubble at the candy store. He went out back and shoved it far up his anus and squished it around. Then he slowly flatulated, causing a brown and pink bubble to expand out of his asshole. When the blubble popped, it smelled like a weird combination of sugar and shit.

by joseph blough December 3, 2024

Cycraps

When you spread your ass cheeks for all the world to see and push out a turd part way so your ass looks like a cyclops with a big brown eye.

I felt a crap on deck so I decided to do a cycraps for my friends. They still have nightmares from it.

by joseph blough December 9, 2021

See The Northern Lights

Lighting your farts on fire. Inspired by Terrance and Philip from the South Park movie.

Terrance: Want to see the Northern Lights?
Philip: (lights fart with match and is engulfed in flames).
Terrance: You burned yourself to death by lighting your farts! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

by joseph blough April 19, 2025