joseph blough's definitions

What Can Brown Do For You?

1) an ill-fated ad campaign for UPS.

2) it can come out of your ass to make you feel less full.

My stomach was gurgling and I felt so bloated. So I asked myself “what can brown do for you?” and proceeded to the nearest toilet to take a huge shit.

by joseph blough March 31, 2022

Sky Brown

A twist on the term “sky blue”, “Sky Brown” is what happens when airplanes dump the contents of their human waste from the sky. Those who up to the heavens may have the misfortune of getting dumped on by a mountain of shit.

Don was looking up at the sky when it suddenly became sky brown, only to find himself covered in feces and piss shortly thereafter.

by joseph blough August 31, 2025

rhinoceros ass

An odor so foul and disgusting it can cause one to vomit violently and destroy a city block.

Larry walked into the primate house at the zoo and exclaimed “it smells like rhinoceros ass in here!” He headed for the nearest garbage can where he proceeded to puke his guts out.

by joseph blough January 12, 2025

Ossweepay

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”

Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”

by joseph blough February 3, 2023

Gastric Bypass

1) a bariatric surgery performed for rapid weight loss on severely obese people.

2) A bariatric surgical mishap where the surgeon mistakenly connects your esophagus to your ass and you end up shitting and farting out of your mouth.

Steve had gastric bypass surgery last year. He’s lost 200 pounds and looks great, except for the fact that he now has to stick his head in the toilet to poop.

by joseph blough July 6, 2023

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022

Rectal adventure

An act of climbing into the ass of a large person or animal, crawling through their digestive tract and eventually making their way out of the mouth.

Johnny started his rectal adventure when he inserted his head into the elephant’s butt and proceeded to crawl through a system of shit and acid until he was regurgitated out of the elephant’s mouth.

by joseph blough October 8, 2023