joseph blough's definitions

Feces Florentine

When you place ten pieces of shit upright in a circle to look like the bones in a Steak Florentine.

Guido the gourmet chef at Cafe Tuscany ran out of steak, so he improvised with a Feces Florentine.

by joseph blough January 2, 2025

gasasstic flatulence

A fart that is so explosive and smelly that it literally shakes the foundation of a building.

“Man, Joe just blew gasasstic flatulence so power and loud that the entire floor moved. No air freshener could remove the stench.”

by joseph blough March 25, 2022

greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables

Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.

by joseph blough April 27, 2014

What Can Brown Do For You?

1) an ill-fated ad campaign for UPS.

2) it can come out of your ass to make you feel less full.

My stomach was gurgling and I felt so bloated. So I asked myself “what can brown do for you?” and proceeded to the nearest toilet to take a huge shit.

by joseph blough March 31, 2022

Gastric Bypass

1) a bariatric surgery performed for rapid weight loss on severely obese people.

2) A bariatric surgical mishap where the surgeon mistakenly connects your esophagus to your ass and you end up shitting and farting out of your mouth.

Steve had gastric bypass surgery last year. He’s lost 200 pounds and looks great, except for the fact that he now has to stick his head in the toilet to poop.

by joseph blough July 6, 2023

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022

Ahhsfache

An alternative pronunciation of “assface”, when you don’t want an assface to know you are calling them as such. Here the “c” in “assface” is pronounced “che”, as in Italian.

That guy Ryan looks like he has a butt for a head. But I don’t want to insult him, so I just refer to him as an ahhsfache.

by joseph blough October 3, 2022