joseph blough's definitions

Feces Florentine

When you place ten pieces of shit upright in a circle to look like the bones in a Steak Florentine.

Guido the gourmet chef at Cafe Tuscany ran out of steak, so he improvised with a Feces Florentine.

by joseph blough January 2, 2025

Dubble Blubble

Bubble gum for your ass. Bubbles can be blown by sticking the gum up your ass and slowly farting, being careful not to let one rip too strongly. Popped dubble bubbles can be both sweet and smelly, with emphasis on the smelly.

Ernie purchased a Dubble Blubble at the candy store. He went out back and shoved it far up his anus and squished it around. Then he slowly flatulated, causing a brown and pink bubble to expand out of his asshole. When the blubble popped, it smelled like a weird combination of sugar and shit.

by joseph blough December 3, 2024

What Can Brown Do For You?

1) an ill-fated ad campaign for UPS.

2) it can come out of your ass to make you feel less full.

My stomach was gurgling and I felt so bloated. So I asked myself “what can brown do for you?” and proceeded to the nearest toilet to take a huge shit.

by joseph blough March 31, 2022

transverse digestion

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.

Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”

by joseph blough April 8, 2022

Cycraps

When you spread your ass cheeks for all the world to see and push out a turd part way so your ass looks like a cyclops with a big brown eye.

I felt a crap on deck so I decided to do a cycraps for my friends. They still have nightmares from it.

by joseph blough December 9, 2021

See The Northern Lights

Lighting your farts on fire. Inspired by Terrance and Philip from the South Park movie.

Terrance: Want to see the Northern Lights?
Philip: (lights fart with match and is engulfed in flames).
Terrance: You burned yourself to death by lighting your farts! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

by joseph blough April 19, 2025

Ahhsfache

An alternative pronunciation of “assface”, when you don’t want an assface to know you are calling them as such. Here the “c” in “assface” is pronounced “che”, as in Italian.

That guy Ryan looks like he has a butt for a head. But I don’t want to insult him, so I just refer to him as an ahhsfache.

by joseph blough October 3, 2022