defuct

A high-severity defect that leaves the system in a very bad state. (noun)

Etymology: a combination of "defect" and the adjective form of a common 4-letter slang word derived from the latin fvccant which, in common parlance means to have been cheated.

Alternate definition: an unlikely condition of having regained ones virginity (but this would probably require a homophonic spelling).

I logged two defects on the layout and a defuct about the server crash.

by jfkelley June 19, 2009

Determinate

To resurrect.

Since we found out you didn't steal from petty cash, we have decide to determinate your employment.

by jfkelley May 28, 2016

emoticonsternation

noun: The unpleasant surprise you get when you choose a seemingly harmless emoticon from the static image palette only to see it animate into something tasteless after you've chosen it and sent it.

Alternate:
noun: An emoticon that looks harmless when viewed in the static image palette, but provides a nasty surprise when you select it and send it by animating into something tasteless.

Imagine my emoticonsternation when that smiley face I sent to my mom turned out to be a bloody horrorshow.

I got fired when I accidentally sent my boss an emoticonsternation.

by jfkelley June 15, 2009

e-spoke

To have communicated with someone via chat. Can also be used in the present tense (though less effectively) as e-speek.

I e-spoke with the client yesterday and he gave the go-ahead.

by jfkelley February 28, 2009

Push-Pull

The fundamental dichotomy when designing any web application: The business goals/requirements of the enterprise (the "push") vs. the needs/requirements of the end-user/customer (the "pull"). Best visualized with a simple, two-circle Venn diagram. The intersection being the "sweet" spot (no-brainer stuff to do). Some designers/researchers will add a third circle for technological constraints (context), but many effective designers prefer to make that a secondary consideration during early concepting.

This corporate mandate to increase self-service options and reduce traffic to your call centers ignores the push-pull trade-off between cost and customer satisfaction; there are certain cases where the customer really feels the need to talk to someone.

by jfkelley June 18, 2018