jakeisjack's definitions

DoorSmash

a simple game where you and your significant other order from DoorDash and then see if you can smash before the order shows up

him: "hey baby quarantine sucks let's DoorSmash tonight"
her: "k babe but somewheres close I'm horny and hangry"

by jakeisjack April 5, 2020

'tis

the region between the genitals and the anus that used to have enough identity to be neither genitals nor anus (the 'taint) but has been sufficiently damaged to now become either genitals or anus

His dick was so huge it made my 'taint a 'tis!

When I had my second baby, that kid was so large it converted my 'taint into a 'tis.

by jakeisjack December 14, 2020

baking inbred

actively engaging in sexual relations between individuals classed as being too closely related to marry each other

my cuz ain't quite right in the head. i'm pretty sure my aunt and uncle were baking inbred.

your relatives from the backwoods look kinda off. they got small heads, strange faces and all kinda health issues. i think your fam been baking inbred.

damn man! your sister is fucking hot! if i were you i'd wanna be baking inbred with her fine ass.

by jakeisjack November 22, 2020

shamkin

a delicious treat composed of a milk shake (any flavor) with a crushed up Ambien and Vicodin mixed in

Today was shitty. Imma fix me a shamkin for a nightcap.

by jakeisjack November 3, 2020

fetus fixin's

the combination of male ejaculate and female vaginal secretions that is created during intercourse and facilitates the fertilization of an ovum by a spermatozoon

"I want to have a baby so help me whip up some fetus fixin's!"

"Sex standing up is pretty great until all the fetus fixin's fall out and make a mess."

by jakeisjack November 3, 2020