double van gogh

The performative act of cutting off both of one's own ears. It is often used as an exaggerative phrase expressing one's desire to not want to listen to something.
I'd rather double van gogh myself than listen to that crap.
by improviduto January 16, 2006
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tard parker

Someone who cannot park their vehicle correctly in a parking lot. Originated by employees at the Competitive Gear bike shop in Erie, Pennsylvania.
If that tard parker dings my Subaru, I'm going to slash his tires.
by improviduto July 30, 2005
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pratfaller

1. Someone who intentionally falls for the purpose of comedy.
2. Someone who intentionally falls in want of attention.
1. Famed pratfaller Chevy Chase was hilarious on the original Saturday Night Live.
2. Joyce is a habitual pratfaller because she demands to be at the center of attention at all times. It's really very sad.
by improviduto July 07, 2005
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stonewashed

To be brainwashed by actress Sharon Stone. The term arose from her constant and unrelenting promotion of the movie Basic Instinct 2. One would think that seeing the film would cure cancer she hyped it so much.
I saw Sharon Stone promoting Basic Instinct 2 on The View, E! News, Regis and Kelly, the Fox News Entertainment report, Entertainment Tonight and about a zillion other shows this week, and I'll tell ya what--I've been stonewashed. I need to see this movie even though I know it's going to be a waste of my 8 dollars. My warning to you is to beware of Sharon Stone.
by improviduto April 01, 2006
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anatomical sales associate

Another clever synonym for a prostitute. It can be used to describe the profession or as an insult.
Hooker: "Hey! Do you like to party!?"
Client: "Well, I not comfortable soliciting the services of a prostitute."
Hooker: "Then think of me more as an anatomical sales associate."
Client: "Oh, well when you put it that way..."

by improviduto March 18, 2007
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anatomical sales associate

Another clever synonym for a prostitute. It can be used to describe the profession or as an insult.
Hooker: "Hey! Do you like to party!?"
Client: "Well, I'm not exactly comfortable with soliciting the services of a prostitute."
Hooker: "Then think of me more as an anatomical sales associate."
Client: "Oh, well when you put it that way..."
by improviduto March 23, 2007
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gamble chocolates

A term that desribes assorted chocolates. One takes a gamble when they take a random piece (a gamble chocolate) from a box of assorted chocolates because the candy could be either delicious or disgusting. The term also serves as an alternative to "assorted chocolates".

Etymology: The term is used in comedian Jim Gaffigan's bit about Valentine's day.
I tried a piece from the box of gamble chocolates I got for Valentine's Day. I don't know why I even bother with these because every one tastes like it was filled with toothpaste.
by improviduto January 30, 2006
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